Watering Down Bad News

There are times I wonder whether it is worse to condone/excuse adultery in articles commonly found in the Huffington Post type of publication or the watering down of adultery consequences found in Christianity Today?

Either way, you as the reader are mislead regarding the potential consequences of adultery. The writers take you down the primrose past so to speak. Since they mislead you about the consequences, what they are presenting to you amounts to ‘affair propaganda’.

Although it seems odd painting both Huffington Post and Christianity Today with the same brush, when it comes to infidelity, ‘I call ’em as I see ’em”.

On reading through the most recent article in Christianity Today, the words of an old Texas preacher friend of mine came back to me. Even though he has been dead several years, I still find some nuggets of wisdom in his old-fashioned ways. I find that previous generations often had a way of ferreting out truth.

My Preacher friend, Vendyl Jones, often said “Even rat poison is 99% good oats”.  Although he used that saying in reference to theological issues, it definitely has application to popular press articles on infidelity as well. He recognized that there is enough truth in many things to sound good, yet in the end are not good for you.

What you need in dealing with affairs is ‘the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth’ rather than something smooth that sounds truthful. The 19th century President, Jefferson Davis said, “Truth crushed to the earth is truth still and like a seed will rise again”. Martin Luther King Jr. shortened that sentiment to “Truth crushed to earth will rise again.”

Huff Po may play up the ‘fun side’ of infidelity, while Christianity Today minimizes the negative consequences.

Either way, you readers are not presented with “truth” regarding the consequences of adultery.

Either way, you are getting the 99% good oats. Ideas that have surface validity, yet often cover up potential dangers.

Given the dangers of adultery, I can understand their watering down bad news. When you consider the risk of suicidal ideation for one. I don’t know where they get their data, but from the surveys I have done, there is typically about a 15% risk of suicidal ideation.

Another danger is homicidal ideation. Although most people do not act on it, the ideation is there. Either by you or another party impacted by the affair. Remember, you are not the only person hurting or wanting to hurt others related to the affair.

There are the health dangers of affairs. The list of STD (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) is long. As society becomes more diverse, the dangers of STD’s increases.Not only are the dangers increased, many of today’s strains are resistant to many medications.

At the present time, there are 19.7 million new cases of STD’s each year. Of those fewer than one-third seek screening for STD’s. They run the gamut from chlamydia, gonorrhea, Hepatitis C, syphilis, herpes, Hepatitis B and HPV.

Although you may have been careful, the lover may not be as careful as you are. Then you also have to consider the other people the lover may have been with.

It boils down to whether you feel lucky and taking your chances with a social form of russian roulette.

My dad told me “If you can easily get into a girl’s pants, know that you are probably not the first and are probably not the last”. My own variation is that the easier it is to get into their pants the greater the likelihood that others have been there as well.

Then there are the psychological consequences. The depression and anxiety symptoms are just the tip of the iceberg. Guilt is only the start. There are also the trauma symptoms and possible paranoia that can develop with infidelity as well.

There are the relational consequences. The changes brought on by the affair alter your relationships. Yes, you can overcome many of these, but that does not remove the consequences themselves.

I would have figured that Christianity Today would have addressed the spiritual consequences as well. Although the world focuses on the physical, there are other dimensions of your being that are damaged as well.

Then there are the sin consequences, which few people ever mention. I have touched on these at times. They are multi-dimensional and multi-generational.

Think about the long term consequences of Adam and Eve’s sin. Do you think yours or the cheaters  infidelity will have less long term impact?

It’s presumptuous assuming that your adultery or your spouse’s adultery will not have consequences. You may not live to see them, but that doesn’t mean they won’t happen.

Although society has grown more tolerant of sin, that social tolerance and acceptance does not make the consequences go away.

Perhaps the watering down of bad news was sloppy journalism. It takes time researching consequences. It also takes boldness in letting you know what the consequences of adultery are.

The bad news is that there are consequences. They are intense and long term.  Watering down the bad news will not make the consequences go away.

Watering down the bad news may sell more papers and increase circulation, but it does a dis-service to you. It does not give you the full picture.

The good news is that there’s hope. You can take steps that repair and rebuild what was damaged. The Affair Recovery Workshop guides you through this rebuilding.

There are some obstacles in your life that need clearing out. The workshop guides you in removing those obstacles whether they be relational, communication based, or poor decision making. Your life can be turned around starting now.

Best Regards,

Jeff

 

 

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