Why God doesn’t condone Sexual Infidelity in Marriage

When I encountered an article entitled, “The Real Reason God doesn’t condone sexual infidelity in marriage“, I had to read it. From the time I saw the title, I was hooked.

I wondered what the author views as the “real reason” God doesn’t condone sexual infidelity in marriage. I know of several reasons, yet the lure of finding the ‘real reason’ piqued my curiosity.

You may have even wondered yourself what that ‘real’ reason is.

In specifying the ‘real’ reason, it implies that the other reasons are not real or not valid. What might this one over riding reason for not condoning sexual infidelity be?

I’m always leery of saying things like ‘the real reason’ and ‘God’ in the same sentence. Claiming knowing the ‘real reason’ behind something like sexual infidelity is quite a claim.

I suppose that since the author is a pastor has 44 books behind him he has some background on the topic and knows the seriousness of his claim.

Although the authors (Bill and Pam Farrell) claimed knowing ‘the real reason’ for not condoning sexual infidelity in marriage, they give two reasons for marital fidelity.

1. A legacy you can be proud of
2. Protecting the ones you love most.

Those are both good reasons to be faithful. I agree with them, yet there’s so much more. This is a start, but misses out on the BIG PICTURE.

I’m still looking for the ‘real reason’ infidelity is not condoned. The author identified a list of reasons why it’s not a good thing.

• Sex outside of marriage is bad.
• It is evil to be intimate with anyone but your spouse.
• We will stand guilty before God.
• It makes God mad.
• We will get a disease if we don’t remain faithful.

Ironically, even though he identifies guilt in the list, he immediately goes into how ‘It’s not about guilt“. This confuses me.

Is it or is it not about guilt? The double-message is usually a ploy of politicians, not pastoral writers.

Keep in mind that I’m not a pastor to the public. I’m just a counselor who studied theology and related topics, along with my father being a pastor.

There’s no mention of how marital infidelity destroys the picture that God wishes to convey through the institution. From my readings, God is very interested in the picture that your actions convey.

Moses hit the rock rather than speaking to it and suffered the consequences for destroying the picture that God intended.

There’s also the long term consequences of marital infidelity.  Whether you like it or not, sexual sins are in a category that pollutes the land as well as the people.

When a sin is powerful enough to defile people and the land, it’s not to be taken lightly. In my mind, that’s a pretty serious consequence.

Another reason for avoiding marital infidelity is the double-minded aspect. Marital infidelity splits your mind and your heart. You’ll find your loyalties and emotions being torn in multiple directions.

For those considering going into the ministry or church office, marital infidelity disqualifies you for many church positions. Although modern theologians consider the “one wife” directive in terms of being married to one woman at a time.

In my view, the meaning is only being married once along with being totally loyal to your spouse.

I know that some of you may be ‘modern’ in your theology and change the Bible to fit the times in which you live. In such cases, you may come up with other variations of what the ‘one wife’ directive means.

This is the kind of thinking described by Belgian psychotherapist, Esther Perel who said, “Monogamy, used to be one person for life. Today, monogamy is one person at a time.”

There are a few other insights I share in my e-book, “What the Bible Says About Adultery” with information as to chapter and verse where it’s located.

I still haven’t found the ONE reason, yet I can share a lot of reasons why God disapproves of sexual infidelity in marriage.

Best Regards,

Jeff