Diane was devastated at discovering her husband was throwing away their marriage. After all, they’d been married for 22 years. Just the thought of him ditching her for someone else was gut wrenching. “How could he throw away 22 years of marriage?”
She was distraught at the whole idea. She had thought that her marriage was alright. She never considered her marriage a ‘bad’ one. Her thoughts were filled with conversations like “Sure, my could use some improvements, but whose doesn’t?” and “We weren’t perfect, but who is?”
No matter how many times she told herself such things, she still didn’t have peace about it. The answers temporarily satisfied her mind, yet her heart still felt empty and unsettled about things.
When Diane had her ‘sensitive’ moments, she often asked “How could he throw away 22 years of marriage?” to whoever was in the room with her. For her it was about expressing dismay and disbelief that he could do such a thing.
It surprised her when one of her friends responded with the question, “Have you given him a reason to love you?”
It stopped her in her tracks. No one had ever asked her a question like that one before. Her mind suddenly hit the brakes. It was as if she could hear them squealing to a complete halt.
“I never considered that”
Her friend pointed out that over time, spouses often take each other for granted. They forget little things like expressing gratitude and appreciation. They forget that even spouses need a reason to love someone.
It was hard for Diane to hear those words. The very thought that she had not given her husband a reason to love her made her uncomfortable. There was also a tinge of guilt that shot through her on hearing her friend.
It made sense to her. She knew that in the workplace, people need motivation, they need a reason “why” they keep doing what they’re doing. She had never considered that marriages also need motivations for loving each other.
The uncomfortable insight led to many changes in Diane’s thinking and in her life. She was finally able to regain her husband’s attention and affections. She’d forgotten she and her husband both needed a reason for loving each other rather than just throwing away a perfectly good marriage.
Your marriage is worth saving. Rather than give up on it, find out what you can do to turn things around with the Affair Recovery Workshop. It’ll keep you from throwing away a perfectly good marriage.
Best Regards,
Jeff
