Today will be a good time to share what I learned on the road up to Monteverde, Costa Rica. my wife and I recently traveled to Monteverde for the first time.
I made it a point to prepare by reading the guidebooks and watching the YouTube videos. I thought I had all the answers and I was wrong.
Having prepared ahead of time, I thought I knew the best route for us to take. Pride has a way of making you think you have all the answers and know the right way to go.
“Here, take road 606. It’ll get us there!” My wife gently asked if I had read the directions sent to us by the owner of the place we were staying. “I’ll get us to Monteverde and then… I’ll look at the directions”.
If you’ve never traveled route 606 during rainy season, it’s a rocky, unpaved climb up into the rain forest of Costa Rica filled with ruts and washouts when it’s passable. After bouncing and shaking just about the whole way, we finally reached Monteverde. I felt accomplished in getting us there.
At that point, I looked at the directions sent to us by the owner. He had us going a whole other way into the city, with a note that most people take the wrong way into the city. I wanted to prove him wrong, since I had watched all those videos on YouTube and I knew I was right!
Up in the cloud forest, when the fog rolls in, its thick and heavy. It was getting dark, the fog was in and we were somewhat lost. Two hours later after wandering through seven different villages several times, and a long string of drunk Costa Rican cowboys on horseback, we finally arrived.
Had I read and followed the directions given to us, we would have been there much sooner, traveled better roads and been in better spirits.
I mention this story because it does make a difference whose directions you follow in recovering from an affair. Sure those other people may get you to recovery, but had you followed the correct directions, and done things in the right order, it wouldn’t have been such a treacherous journey.
I’ve found that like directions, the sequence of what you focus on in affair recovery makes a huge difference in how long it takes and how treacherous and rocky the journey is.
My sequence is unique both in the order that recovery occurs and in using my ‘direct connection system’ that bypass defense mechanisms and all the fighting that comes with that defensiveness.
The next time I go to Monteverde, I’ll follow the directions.
Best Regards,
Jeff
PS-The Affair Recovery Workshop takes you through the process of recovery from d-day through breaking familial patterns that keep affairs going. You’ll learn how to turn your marriage around after the affair. Each day you put off help is another day that the problem grows larger.
