The first time I heard reference to the term radio WII-FM, it perked up my ears. I always liked radio and listened to it extensively growing up. I realize that what you listen to shapes your thinking. One radio station in Houston’s logo consisted of what they called the “Rockin’ Radio”. The term WII-FM gave me a new way of looking at radio and the ‘me’ generation.
The term “WII-FM (What’s In It-For Me)” summed up much of the mindset of the ‘me’ generation. Rather than consider long term consequences of actions, or reputations or repercussions, there are some of you who either consider only how things impact you or are married to someone who thinks that way.
The other day, I received an email stating ” I had an affair and need to know how not to think of me first but how to help my husband.” On reading it, I exclaimed, “She gets it!” The woman writing this understands the danger of ‘me first’ thinking and the trouble it gets you into. Fortunately, she’s taking steps toward undoing the damage of listening to WII-FM for too long.
Putting your spouse and your marriage first is always a good starting place for healing. When you made your marriage vows, one of them included putting your spouse before all others. Affairs are often the result of not putting your marriage and your spouse first.
Putting spouse and marriage first changes the way you make your choices. You start making different choices when you consider what’s best for your marriage and your spouse. These different choices require not just a change in the way you talk, but also a change in your paradigm. Your thinking and your heart changes.
Rather than looking at the world through radio WII-FM, your marriage and your spouse become the heart center of your life. Whether it be meals, vacations, investments or entertainment, you change your evaluation of all these areas. You need to turn off radio WII-FM and tune into your spouse.
If you’ve betrayed that promise of putting them above all others, your spouse will feel uneasy until they sense that your heart has made the paradigm shift back. Spouses look for changes in behavior and talk. Only changing the way you talk amounts to window dressing. Your spouse needs reassurances of heart changes.
Instead of listening to WII-FM, you need to ‘tune into’ your spouse’s heart. On listening to it, you’ll discover some new ways of thinking and looking at the world.
For specialized help, check out my video “Let’s Talk, Hurting People and Healing Questions“, which is a perfect starting point for tuning into your spouse. The two of you will learn new ways of improving your ability of tuning into each other.
Best Regards,
Jeff
