It’s fascinating when you have one of those heart to heart talks with one of your grandparents. There’s something about hearing about the challenges they faced along with how they handled them.
In growing up, you always saw them as your grandparent. You never realized what they had been through and the lessons they learned. They were once a young man or young woman full of dreams, and facing challenges.
One of my grandmothers kept the challenges she faced secret. She felt they were best not talked about. Her strategy of ‘not talking about them’ allowed her to move on with her life. That was a coping skill for her day and time. She did what she had to do and refused talking about her past.
It was only years after she died in going through Ancestry.com and other research, including old newspapers, that I was finally able to piece together what happened in her life.
What brain researchers are finding now is that trauma and reactions to it are passed on. The chemical messages and changes they bring are passed on. Think about that for a moment.
The trials and traumas your grandparent faced continues impacting you. Yes, those episodes are long gone. They many not even be talked about, yet they shape you and how you deal with the world around you. The bottom line is...trauma is passed down to your children and grandchildren.
(This also means that your affair impacts your children AND grandchildren. It’s not a matter of if it impacts them, its a matter of HOW MUCH it will impact them.)
Researchers in the field of epigenetics are finding that even the diets of your grandparents impact your health. It only follows that if diet has such an impact that something that shakes you to your core also leaves an impact.
Even though they aren’t discussed, it doesn’t mean that you are free from them. Those events changed your grandparents down to a cellular level. They assumed that when they moved past the trauma, it was over. They never dreamed that the changes brought would impact their children and grandchildren.
This means that the trauma you experienced with the affair has a long tail. It will effect your children and grandchildren. Just getting past the trauma doesn’t mean that it’s over. Every trauma leaves scars and body memories.
Not talking about a traumatic event doesn’t mean the effects won’t be felt. This is the mistake my grandmother made. If anything refusing to talk about them or resolve them are a sure way that the ripple effect of trauma continues through the generations.
That’s where my “Dealing with Affair Trauma” video comes in. It shows you ways of dealing with trauma and its impact. You’ll learn ways of calming yourself down and in doing so, release your body from being ‘on edge’. The effects of trauma don’t have to be something that you pass down.
Best Regards,
Jeff
