Flipping the switch on the thrill of the hunt.

There’s been few jobs I really passionately hated. One of those was being a bill collector. The job took me way out of my comfort zone. Although I disliked chasing down deadbeats, I learned to enjoy skip tracing.

In skip-tracing, I found ways of hunting down people. In many ways, it was a mystery waiting to be solved. It was detective work without being a detective. Since I was a Sherlock Holmes fan, it intrigued me. Over time, I developed some skill in skip tracing. It was one aspect of the job I looked forward to. There’s something enjoyable about the thrill of the hunt.

One thing I learned the hard way was that the skills I needed for skip-tracing were very different from those needed for direct collections.

When you discover an affair, there are times when you hunt down the lover and the cheater. Like an animal hunting down their prey, you seek out their lair. You look for any signs of their activity and whereabouts. You are on the hunt.

The thrill of the hunt challenges you in sharpening your skills. Your thinking speeds up, you pay more attention to smells and notice small details. You may even be surprised how dull your senses were prior to discovering the affair.

In noticing the details, its’ like a whole other side of you comes out. Not only are your senses sharpened, so is your desire for revenge. You develop an edginess. That edginess is great for the hunt, but lousy for reconciliation.

All those animal-like qualities start working against you when you can’t switch them off. Who in their right mind wants to return home to a mountain ready for the hunt? It makes for one heck of a fight, filled with animal passions, but doesn’t do much for reconciling.

If you’re stuck in ‘hunt mode’ and can’t seem to turn it off or tune it down, you could be stuck in ‘affair trauma’. That hyper-alert status is useful for the hunt, but not for winning them back.

The video, on “Overcoming Affair Trauma” guides you in getting out of being in ‘hunt mode’ with all the anxiety, guardedness and suspiciousness that goes with it. You don’t have to stay on edge.

Best Regards,

Jeff

 

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