Some forms of music along with some foods are acquired tastes. Having grown up in Texas, it took a while before I appreciated things like “Texas Swing” and some other country music styles. I was reminded of that while listening to some old Loretta Lynn songs on my iPod.
Some of her old songs were overflowing with pain and angst, especially those songs dealing with cheating. In years past, I considered such songs “Crying in your beer songs”, yet I look at them different now.
I realize they were popular because they captured in song feelings that people have trouble expressing.
When you’re hurting, you aren’t able to express all the emotions you are feeling inside. They want to get out, yet many musical genres and songs don’t give you that sense of release, like those old “Crying in your beer songs”.
The pain of real life experiences like hiding divorce from the kids, wondering about the ‘other woman’, seeing that your spouse doesn’t smile anymore or even finding yourself struggling with your own temptations or desires for payback.
Those “crying in your beer songs” cover just about the whole range of experience. Although they’re great for putting the pain into words, they don’t provide answers.
If anything they connect with your pain and drag it out. I now understand how my great aunt Louise continued playing the same song over and over on a juke box on the north side of San Antonio prior to confronting her man on his cheating.
Even though other patrons wanted her to “give it a rest” and play other songs, she was stuck. She was stuck in her feelings and stuck in her pain. Life for her stopped with news of the affair.
The first time I heard her story, I didn’t understand why in the world she did that. The more I work with affairs, the more I understand her actions.
When you’re struggling with Affair Trauma, you often feel like you are stuck in an ever repeating “Crying in your beer song” about cheating. Your emotions get stuck. like a broken record and you can’t find the ‘stop’ button.
The good news is that brain researchers have found ways of getting ‘unstuck’ from those situations. In my video “Overcoming Affair Trauma“, you’ll learn ways you can get unstuck from the cycle of pain and torment. You don’t have to keep replaying the pain over and over.
Best Regards,
Jeff
