Memento Mori and Forgiveness

The other day, one of my distant relatives sent me an odd email regarding something called a “Memento Mori” coin. I’d never heard of such things. One side has part of a 17th century painting and the other, the Latin phrase “Memento Mori” which is a shortened version of a quote by Marcus Aurelius.

Aurelius’s full statement was “You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.” Another version translates the saying as ‘remember death’. Either way, the coin is a reminder that your time for doing and fixing things is limited.

The purpose is that you carry the coin in your pocket as a reminder of what’s truly important. It also serves as something that spurs you into taking action and no longer putting things off.

Although the sentiment struck me as ‘morbid’, in the past two weeks, two guys I went to high school with in Pasadena died. The news of  them dying left me feeling unsettled.  Hearing about the deaths of someone you knew is always sobering. At that moment, I saw the wisdom of the ‘Memento Mori’ saying.

I’ve also seen betrayed spouses who put off forgiveness until it was too late. They took their resentments with them to the grave. They never forgave their spouse for the affair.

I’m not sure what they were waiting on. Perhaps an invitation, perhaps for the cheater to come back begging and pleading or perhaps they thought it was a way of making the cheater suffer.

When you look for a reason in delaying forgiveness, you can always find one or make one up. The twist is that forgiveness is about you getting relief than the cheater. If you thought it was about the cheater getting relief, someone’s been leading you down a primrose path regarding forgiveness.

Listening to bad directions on forgiveness can have you squandering away time and precious relationships.

There’s always plenty of other attention-grabbing urgent activities that seem more important than forgiveness. Those activities will eat up as much time as you give them and distract you from forgiving.

In my own experience, relationships are more ‘real’ along with being what life is really about than material objects.  Relationships have gotten me through more tough spots than money, fame or fortune.

Because relationships are important, you need forgiveness in keeping them alive and giving you hope. Forgiveness gives your marriage hope. Putting off forgiveness only allows the hurts to fester and you to avoid getting real along with missing out on healing that could be yours.

The video, “Forgiveness: Stop the hurt, Tear down the Walls and Remove the Roadblocks” guides you in starting forgiveness in your most important relationships right now. Healing that relationship is MORE important than chasing fame, fortune and paying lawyers.

Best Regards,

Jeff

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