Sabotage in War and Marriage

Although you may not be from Texas, you’ve probably heard about the Alamo. At the time I grew up, every self-respecting Texan knows the story. Like every story, there are pieces you may not know.

After Sam Houston heard of the fall of the Alamo he assembled what was left of the Texas army and went on a march. One of his first acts was burning the town of Gonzales.

One of the local stories few people know is that in addition to torching the town, it was reported, he left behind cases of poisoned liquor.

Sam Houston drank and knew that soldiers like to drink. His plan was that they’d discovered the liquor and consume it after finishing a long march to the town.

Houston relied on sabotage in that situation. He hoped it would help him in his efforts at winning the war.

Sabotage has it use during war time, yet when there’s conflict in your marriage over the affair, sabotage has a different impact. In your marriage, sabotage helps you win your conflict, yet loose the relationship.

One of the biggest form of sabotage is when one of you stays the victim. Staying the victim is a sure-fire way of ruining the relationship. One of the common ways you can stay the victim is through not forgiving. In those cases, you hold tightly onto the hurt.

You and the hurt are so intertwined it’s hard telling where one ends and the other begins. Staying hurt may win the sympathy of friends and family members, but it poisons your marriage relationship. It’s keeps your relationship from working or getting healthy.

When one of you plays the victim, any hope of teamwork or cooperation is gone. When one of you continues playing victim, the whole dynamic of your marriage relationship changes. Playing the victim permanently changes how you two orbit each other.

The best way of keeping anyone from playing victim is facing the situation head on from the beginning. That’s a tall order for some couples. If one of you or even both of you are playing the victim, the answer lies in forgiveness.

One of the benefits of ‘real’ forgiveness is that it opens up relationships again. Forgiveness allows the two to you to accept responsibility, make repairs, discuss expectations and stop blaming. Imagine having a marriage where such changes are possible.

You can start making those changes by following the instructions in the video “Forgiveness: Stop the Pain, Tear down the Walls and Remove the Roadblocks”. The video helps you understand what forgiveness is and walks you through how to do it.

Best Regards,

Jeff

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