The Edge of Civilization and Affairs


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Several years ago, I visited the island of Orkney. It’s not by accident that they use the slogan “Escape to the Edge” in their promotions. In many ways, it felt like the edge of civilization.

This island was a stronghold of Vikings and Scottish lords who used its strategic location and harbor. The island was the perfect spot for launching raids and smuggling contraband.

Over the years, those in charge of the island constructed a massive castle here. It was so massive that it was considered a threat.

Large strongholds with high and strong stone walls are often considered threats, especially when shady dealings are going down. Eventually the rulers of the island were pressured into tearing down the castle.

It was dismantled, with the massive stones used for paving the streets of the main city of Kirkwall.

When cheaters have an affair, they often construct massive walls to protect themselves. It remains to be seen whether the walls are built in anticipation of an attack or from guilt. Whatever the reason, walls are put up, keeping you and others out of their ‘private life’.

When the affair ends, the question comes up “What to do with the affair castle that was built?” If you don’t tear down the defensive works, they can be used again. Those defensive walls become barriers to your relationship.

If you really want to reduce the risk of threats, the affair castle will need to be dismantled. In the case of affairs, this means removing the threats of relapse, triggers and high risk situations.

Those old defenses can be quickly re-activated with a few words or insensitive actions. The cheater just runs into them at the first sign of trouble or temptation.

Just ending the affair is never enough. Those old strongholds remain a threat as long as they exist.

Do you know how to dismantle a stronghold? Do you know what strongholds to look for? I’m sure you know the frustration of encountering them, yet do you know how to take them apart?

This is why I put together the “Preventing Affair Relapse” video. It provides you with the tools you need for identifying high risk situations, triggers and defensiveness on the part of the cheater. When you can identify the risk, you can do something about it.

Much like the authorities saw the danger of the stronghold at Orkney before it was used against them. You can see the danger of Affair Relapse and dismantle it before it’s used against you again. Rather than worry about “Will it happen again?” You can take action now so that those worries never come to pass.

Best Regards,

Jeff

You Might Also Like To Read:

Rebuilding marriage relationship after the affair

Dating and Affairs

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