The Inequality of Love

It takes a tremendous amount of self-control for me to not speak out in response to all the foolishness on facebook. I’ve improved, yet have spent my time in ‘facebook jail’ along the way.  I find myself getting passionate about some topics, including marriage and affairs.

It’s hard seeing misleading toxic statements in  circulation with hashtags that are destructive to marriages. Those little cutesy sayings that are circulated that sound good on the surface, yet have more poison in them than you realize.

One I saw recently was #LoveIsLove. On the surface, it sounds nice and supportive. Although it’s used as a statement of support, on a closer look the sentiment is dangerous.

If all love has equal value, then the love of the cheater for the lover is of equal value to their love of you. I can’t fathom that the love of an affair is equal to marital love.

There’s also a hidden message that ‘if you love someone, anything goes’. If the cheater uses that sentiment, then you have trouble. Putting a ‘love’ label on a behavior doesn’t make it right.

When you start justifying right and wrong based on whether or not there’s anything you can call love, it makes for instability in your marriage. Imagine if your spouse started hitting or choking you ‘in the name of love’, would it suddenly make that behavior acceptable.

Putting a ‘love’ label on an affair doesn’t make it right. It also doesn’t put the affair on the same standing as your marriage.

Imagine if Ashley Madison had capitalized on the #LoveIsLove mantra rather than their “Live is short, Have an affair“. Had they done that, you’d have likely seen even more marriages in trouble.

The good news is that if the affair love has made a mess of your marriage, you can do something about it. An affair doesn’t have to mean the end of your marriage.

Your marriage love is stronger than affair love. It has a stronger commitment and foundation to it.

Not all love is equal. Some loves really are more important than others. They are also more right than others which are based on stealing what belongs to you.

If you don’t believe that your marriage love is more important than affair love, you’re already defeated. If the affair love is just as important as your marriage love, you’ve already lost. When it comes to the two one will always force out the other, either affair love or marriage love.

If your marriage is under assault from affair love, there are things you can do that change the dynamics of your marriage.

In the downloadable “Affair Recovery Workshop“, you’ll learn ways of changing your marriage dynamics. You can change your relationships. Not all love is equal. Yours is worth more than ‘affair love’.

Yours is a relationship with commitment and promise rather than something that comes and goes like the wind. All love is not equal.

Best Regards,

Jeff

 

 

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