Do you like getting naked in front of strangers? Unless you are a porn star, exhibitionist or swinger, it's not something you enjoy doing. Another exception is nurses getting people naked, but that's another story.
Getting naked in front of someone requires a special situation. It requires a level of trust and safety. It's hard getting naked in front of someone who is angry at you or makes fun of you.
Intimidation is one of those things that makes getting naked uncomfortable.
This brings me to the point I want to make in today's email. The lover and cheater know that you need to feel comfortable in order to get naked.
In going about daily life, it's easy taking your spouse for granted. You get so used to being familiar with them, you forget about the importance of feeling safe with each other.
When you don't feel safe with each other, including emotional safety, you're not going to want to be naked with each other. It's important to feel safe before you remove every stitch of clothing.
Removing all your clothes leaves you vulnerable. There's nothing else to hide behind.
In order to put your spouse at ease, you want to remember the importance of feeling safe.
The lover knows how powerful safety is. You can learn a lesson from them. When your spouse feels safe, they will remove what they've been hiding behind. You may have forgotten how powerful it is for the two of you to feel safe with each other.
This is why I address what it takes to create "an atmosphere of safety" in your marriage. In the downloadable "Affair Recovery Workshop" I give you ways of creating that atmosphere along with ways of using it in improving your marriage.
It sounds simple, yet if you make your spouse vulnerable or naked and exploit it, they may have trouble trusting you for years to come. Knowing how to use safety in the right way makes a big difference. It's a powerful tool that is misused more often than used effectively.
You can learn a lesson or two from the lover about relationships that can help you improve your marriage.