Having recently experienced a loss, I am reminded about the ‘deception of trauma‘. Even though I feel fine on some days, there are hurts and pains just under the surface.
All it takes is a few words, emotions well up and tears start flowing. I am quickly reminded of the loss I experienced and the vacancy in my heart.
Even when I tell myself, I’m not stressed or going through a trauma, my body reminds me that I’m fooling myself. The constant muscle tension, edgy nerves, and restlessness are more truthful than my own mind.
Those days when I tell myself “I’m getting over this” are dispelled when my inability to sleep and racing thoughts remind me of the reality. My body knows the truth and it reminds me of it.
It becomes a weird existence of where my mind tells me one thing and my body tells me another. They are no longer in agreement on how I’m doing.
Mentally, I have a timetable in my mind of when I’m supposed to be over things. Right now there’s disagreement about when my mind says things are over and when my body says they’re over.
All this struggle is part of working through trauma. Just having book knowledge is not enough. I know what I’m going through. I also know that there are no short cuts when it comes to trauma.
Likewise, expecting some book or new technique to heal it overnight is unrealistic. They take my mind off of things, but distraction isn’t healing.
The emotions take time to heal. The memories take time to fade. The anger takes time to subside. Efforts at rushing the healing bring bigger problems.
When you’re facing affair trauma, you need healing. You need ways of self-soothing that you do daily. This allows a little more healing each day. I know that it’s frustrating that it doesn’t happen faster.
Healing from trauma doesn’t fit well into timetables. You can’t choreograph your healing dance to happen faster.
The video “Overcoming Affair Trauma” guides you in applying self-soothing to your hurts. You can know ways of winding down from the tension that trauma brings. The important part is you have to not just learn it, you have to use it as well.
Just knowing ways of dealing with trauma doesn’t move you past it.
Nothing in this Work is intended to replace common sense, legal, medical or other professional advice. If your situation warrants it, please seek competent professional counsel.