Growing up I often heard the phrase "Life's not fair!" I not only heard it, I experienced the truth of that statement first hand.
Having learned that often repeated lesson about unfairness, when I hear the cries about things not being fair from social justice types, it falls on deaf ears with me. I know things aren't fair or equal, they never were and never will be.
Even in striving for fair 'utopia' isn't realistic. The word 'utopia', literally means a 'non-place. In other words, utopia is a make-believe place.
I hate bursting the hopes and dreams of the social justice idealists, but the reality is "Life isn't fair" either in opportunities or outcomes. The unfairness of things isn't reason for throwing your hands up in surrender.
What the unfairness of things means is that you need a different approach and different attitude when faced with unfairness. Developing the kind of flexibility you need in taking those different approaches requires effort.
This is where you face the tough choice of either exerting effort in making changes or just complaining or protesting about the unfairness of things. In my case, I opted for making changes over merely complaining.
In facing the affair, you'll encounter many things that aren't fair. Acceptance of the affair situation isn't fair. You shouldn't have to put up with an affair.
Even though it's something you shouldn't face, the reality is that you are. This is one of those "Life isn't fair" situations.
Your spouse having a lover isn't fair. They will never be fair and neither will the relationship rules surrounding those areas.
Developing a different attitude and different approach to the affair is something you can do. This is where the downloadable 'Affair Recovery Workshop' comes in. In the workshop, you'll be guided in developing a different attitude. You'll also learn new ways of approaching your unfair situation.
You'll have new ways of bypassing their defense mechanisms, getting them to open up and ways of fostering intimacy. You'll also know what dangers to steer clear of and mistakes you can avoid making.
You can't prevent the unfairness of things. You can learn new ways of improving your resiliency and ability of responding to the situation.