One of the strange phenomena that I encountered while in graduate school was “ABD’s”. An “ABD” is someone who has done all the work needed for obtaining their doctoral degree except the dissertation.
What made “ABD’s” strange is that they completed all the work, yet stopped right before the final task. Many actually drop out of college at that point. It just blew my mind considering all the work they did only to drop out right before graduating.
I finally solved the mystery of ‘ABD’s’ when I learned about the ‘fear of success’. As odd as it sounds there are people who talk about success, yet actually fear it.
Success scares them so much, they sabotage any chance of success in their life. For them, success brings fears.
I’ve also seen this ‘fear of success’ in affair recovery. You may be one of those who fear having a successful marriage.
The prospect of a healthy marriage scares you more than a dysfunctional marriage. This fear makes toleration of the dysfunction preferred over making things healthy.
One of the hallmarks of this fear of success is the inability to receive. One sure way of keeping your marriage sick is the inability to receive.
That inability keeps your marriage in a sick place. It keeps the two of you in a state of unhealthy relationship. That unhealthiness is often used as an excuse for acting out in the form of affairs and drinking.
Affairs are another one of the ways some cheaters avoid successful marriages. Like the ABD’s, they do something that throws a monkey wrench in their relationships. They gravitate toward the unhealthy since healthy relationships scare them.
With unhealthy relationships, they feel more secure. This is especially true when the cheater comes from a dysfunctional family.
Affairs are another way some cheaters avoid successful marriages. Like the ABD's, they do something that throws a monkey wrench in their relationships. They gravitate toward the unhealthy since healthy relationships scare them.
With unhealthy relationships, they feel more secure. This is especially true when the cheater comes from a dysfunctional family.
Change the unhealthy family patterns that impact your marriage more than you realize. “Affair Recovery Workshop“,
Best Regards,
Jeff
