False conclusions after the Affair

When I toured the Mark Twain home, I learned things about him that I had been unaware of. Although he was entertaining and often quoted, some of the sayings attributed to Twain were never said by him.

Perhaps that’s one of the things that happens with notoriety. Quotes are attributed to you that you never said. One of my favorite quotes attributed to Twain that he never said is ” “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.

The quote is one of those sayings that he would come up with. His sayings were colorful and full of wit. I find that thinking through them often gives me some insights.

The believing something that ‘just ain’t so” is one of those sayings that gives insights. When you believe something that isn’t so, it’ll get you in trouble.

Your false conclusions lead to bad decisions. In the aftermath of an affair, you likely have plenty of conclusions. Some of them are true and some ‘just ain’t so”.

The risk of false conclusions is even higher if you grew up in a dysfunctional family.

Learning ways of distinguishing between them is challenging. It’s hard determining what’s a valid conclusion and what’s a false one.

Anyone who’s gone through the kind of traumatic event like an affair faces false conclusions.  Although some people move past it, many of them don’t.

When your mind is filled with false conclusions, you’re stuck. It’s a struggle moving past it.

This is one of the effects of trauma. The chances are that both you and your spouse have  false conclusions that are making your situation worse than it needs to be.

Get unstuck from the thinking that comes after a trauma hits. [affair trauma]

The false conclusions are only one part of the after effects from affair trauma.

Having your head filled with conclusions that ‘just ain’t so” is a nightmare. It leaves you unsure of what you can and can’t believe.

Best Regards,

Jeff

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