In recent years, I've learned to love GPS. It's especially wonderful when you rent a car equipped with GPS maps and directions. When I have GPS navigation, my stress level drops dramatically.
In previous decades, I navigated with maps. I plotted out what I thought was the best pathway. During my journeys, maps were my way of tracking progress.
Although maps help, there were times I resorted to the dreaded asking for directions.
There's something inside of me that cringes at asking someone else for directions. It's humbling asking total strangers for directions.
Those moments forced me to face my own limitations. Asking directions taught me many lessons about people.
With the use of GPS navigation, you no longer have to ask for directions. Although I like the navigation, it also brings the loss of those humbling moments of admitting that "I'm lost and need help".
You get all your answers with no embarrassment, humility or help from others. GPS empowers your ego and the "I can do it by myself" part of your brain.
I suspect this one of the reasons that cheaters going through affair recovery have a harder time these days than previous generations. They no longer have to admit "I'm lost and need help".
Some of the critical tasks needed for a successful recovery are giving yourself permission to recover followed by admitting you need help and asking for directions. Going through affair recovery is one place where the attitude of "I can do this all by myself" gets cheaters and couples into trouble.
Asking for directions or help is hard for some of you. Despite being hard, it's necessary.
Admitting your need for help, then asking for it is a hopeful sign. Selfishness is a big part of what created the mess.
The humble act of asking for directions in your life and marriage is part of what works on your attitude. Doing all the right things with the wrong attitude sets you up for relapse.
In the video, "Overcoming Affair Relapse", I guide you through some of the other critical tasks needed in affair recovery. Rather than considering "why" should I do this, a better approach is doing what you need to do and then uncovering the benefits of what you did later.