One of the more powerful questions in recovery is ‘what next?‘ This question is more important than questions about what the goal is, how long it takes or others.
I learned the power of this question the hard way. While in college, I worked as a collections agent for Allied finance. At the ending of each month, I was sent out on collections runs.
My boss learned that the most effective way of collections with me was to only tell me ‘what’s next’. If he told me all the accounts, I’d rush through them and not put enough pressure on them.
I hated not knowing how many more accounts I had. By doing ‘what’s next’, I wasn’t in control. It forced me to focus on what needed doing in the here and now.
In recovery, it’s tempting for you to rush ahead, either mentally or physically. Recovery works best when you take the ‘what’s next’ approach.
Take for example discovering that your spouse is a sex addict. When you consider ‘what’s next’, things get clearer.
In this case, the what’s next includes, learning about sexual addiction, building your support group, getting your health status checked, obtaining sound legal counsel, finding a Recovering Couples Anonymous group and finding a professional whose familiar with sexual addiction.
When you complete these tasks, you’ll be prepared for the next steps beyond them and the tougher choices ahead of you. Questions about whether to stay or go, whether the cheater is taking things seriously and what to do about the holidays are way down the line.
Spending mental energy answering those questions before you’ve done the basics creates frustration. You’ve got to know what you’re dealing with before trying to fix it.
In the download “Affair Recovery Workshop“, I’ll guide you through the what’s next in affair recovery.
Rushing ahead with interventions and heavy duty confrontation before you’ve done the basics will get you in trouble. In the workshop, you’ll learn what steps come when.
Recovery is possible. It also takes handling your situation one step at a time with your mind focused on ‘What’s next’.
Best Regards,
Jeff
