One of the topics I check daily in the news is infidelity. Seeing the news items on that topic helps me understand where the public pulse is.
One recent story on a British site grabbing my attention had the headline, ” ‘Is it still adultery if my spouse has dementia and doesn’t know who I am anymore?’ The article included the answer to the question from various health professionals.
The story revealed a great deal about the mindset and values of those asking such a question. It tells me that some people no longer use a moral definition of infidelity.
The new definition is whether or not your spouse is cognitively aware of an adulterous act.
In my mind, this line of logic is nothing more than a new twist on the old “What they don’t know won’t hurt them” angle. In this case, they tweak it by adding a medical condition. This kind of thinking is dangerous.
It is not a far stretch for not being cognitively aware if you’re zoned out on medications or drunk. Think how the question would sound in that case. “Is it still adultery is my spouse is drunk and doesn’t know who I am?”
This is an example of the kind of slippery slope of excusing affairs that happens when moral definitions are cast aside. Right and wrong now depend on your spouse’s mental status rather than moral absolutes.
This kind of logic also tells me that the traditional marriage vows have lost their meaning. The old “love, honor and cherish until death do you part” has now become “love, honor and cherish until your emotionally or mentally unavailable”.
Another consequence of this twisted logic is the loss of security of your bonds of matrimony. When your bonds are contingent on your mental or emotional status, they aren’t very secure. All your security hinges on the status of your spouse and their interpretation of your status.
I’m still old fashioned enough to know that when I do wrong, there are consequences. Affairs are wrong.
When I hear, “Is it adultery if…” someone is trying to excuse their infidelity.
When you get tired of excuses and want help in turning your marriage and thinking around, the ‘Affair Recovery Workshop’ is for you. Buy the workshop and you can start turning your marriage around rather than stumbling on the latest twists in excusing cheating.
Best Regards,
Jeff
