Dealing with lies and liars is a perennial problem. Although I’ve dealt with many aspects of lies, there are always new things worth considering.
One item is the convenience of lies. For cheaters, it’s easier lying about what happened than it is facing the truth and sharing it with you.
What makes a lie convenient is that they are about the ‘here and now’. Liars don’t consider the consequences of their acts.
In their mind a quick lie keeps the peace and cuts the tension they are currently experiencing. If they told you the truth, they would face emotional tension and have to be honest with themselves.
In many ways the lie is more about them not wanting to face the truth about what they did than it is about keeping the truth from you. Honesty brings a squirmy discomfort with it.
Honesty also brings more questions. A quick lie keeps them and you from dealing with the long line of questions that come with the truth.
Some cheaters go so far as to play the word game about how their truth is as valid as your truth. Those kind of word games are frustrating.
Such games only play with your head and create added confusion. Since a confused mind doesn’t take action, this game is only another way of keeping you from finding out the truth.
When you’re confused, you just sit there emotionally immobilized. Lies are ways of keeping people from reaching the truth about what happened and their motivations.
When you’re tired of lies, and cleaning up the mess they leave behind, change starts happening. It’s only when the lies stop that positive change happens.
In the video, “How Can I Trust You Again?“, I deal with the importance of honesty in rebuilding trust. Honesty is an important step in changing your marriage.
Keeping It Real,
Nothing in this Work is intended to replace common sense, legal, medical or other professional advice. If your situation warrants it, please seek competent professional counsel.