The death of my father last year lead to times of reflection. During those times I reviewed things I did and didn’t do regarding my relationship with him.
One thing I’m grateful for is reaching out in discussing many things. It was risky at first.
Reaching out made me vulnerable. It meant taking risks in that relationship.
I set aside my fears and broached the topics and issues I was wrestling with. Being vulnerable always has some fears and risks.
We discussed our shared experiences, current ideas and different ways of thinking about the populations we were working with.
Since he was also a counselor, we discussed common problems and solutions to those problems. We didn’t always agree. Our differences led to some really thought provoking talks.
In a relationship where differences of opinion was once taboo they were now welcomed. We had different views and were alright with it.
Eventually he even asked for my help in reviewing and editing his book. In many ways, it was like going through a recap of his life ministry.
One person taking risks and sharing often leads to risk taking the other way as well. As he often put it, “relationships are streets with two sides“.
Taking the approach I did meant there were no regrets about not reaching out.
Reaching out is important in relationships. It’s even more important in relationships where there have been hurts or disappointments.
Fear has ways of talking you out of reaching out. Fear keeps you imprisoned in the status quo. The two of you won’t get closer with either one of you holding back.
Moving your marriage or any relationship to a better place requires you reach out. Progress always entails risks. Although at the time the risks seem large and looming.
Once confronted, those risks are never as bad as you imagined them to be. There’s always the risk they will say “no” or reject your reaching out. Deciding that they’ll say no without reaching out and asking them is self-defeating.
If you’re not ready for help or reaching out, at least be honest with yourself about that. You can always find excuses for not reaching out. The benefit you attain from reaching out is greater than the pay off you receive from avoiding matters.
If you’ve been putting off dealing with the affair or reaching out about the affair, you can change that. The ‘Affair Recovery Workshop‘ is a download, that starts you going. Within minutes you can start changing you and your situation.
Nothing in this Work is intended to replace common sense, legal, medical or other professional advice. If your situation warrants it, please seek competent professional counsel.