If you want to be notified the next time I write something, sign up for email alerts or subscribe to the RSS Feed. Thanks for reading.

When affairs take place in association with other addictive behavior, your biggest problem may not be the affair. When affairs occur in association with other addictive behaviors, chances are you are dealing with an addictive personality and their addicted brain. The addicted brain just wants stimulation, whether from drugs, gambling, day trading, sex or other activities. The brain wants to have some action. In the case of affairs, the secrecy, sex and drama provide plenty of ‘action’ or stimulation for the brain.

In the addicted brain, the person is used to a high level of stimulation. They will do almost anything to ‘keep their buzz (stimulation) on’. Many times they will include risk taking behavior to keep a constant edge. They may talk about the need to feel ‘alive’. What they are calling ‘alive’ is in actuality their attempt to keep the addiction going. They do not like facing life on life’s terms. They do not like a life without the exciting stimulation. They often find real life ‘boring’.

For such individuals, the big challenge is overcoming the addiction. In the process of overcoming the addiction, they have to ‘gear down’ their brain to a lower level of stimulation. It requires an adjustment in thinking, behavior, and associations. Many times the person with the addicted mind does not want to change their ‘playgrounds, playmates, and play toys’, but if they are going to return to health, it is required.

Knowing what you are dealing with is the first step to getting a handle on this problem. If your spouse is out of control with the affairs, and has other addictions to boot, you may need to consult with a professional that knows how to deal with addictive behaviors.

Best Regards,

Jeffrey Murrah

addictive behavior and affairs, addictive behaviors and cheating, cheating, overcoming sexual addictions, Sexual addiction, Understanding Affairs, what else is he doing besides cheating

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Affairs often involve a lack of self control. People give into urges or fantasies that they have been keeping active in their minds. The whole affair situation worsens when a spouse attempts diminishing what happened with the excuse that they were drunk (or stoned). Such an admission suggests that there are substance abuse problems in addition to the poor self control related to the affair. Disorders of self control often happen in combination like that. One self control problem has a way of spilling over into another area of their lives. If you or your spouse has such multiple self-control problems, (over eating, purging, gambling addictions, drug addictions, drinking problems, spending addictions, etc.) you need professional help. Many people make the mistake of saying they are getting better when all they are doing is switching the self-control problem from one area of their lives to another.

The only exception I have seen regarding the self-control issue (where the person acts out their fantasy or urge) is related to affairs involving sexual addicitions, although that in itself is a self-control disorder as well. Some sexual addicts have affairs due to being driven to do so. It is almost as if their brain goes on automatic pilot and they are then driven to act out.

addictive behavior and affairs, addictive behaviors and affairs, drinking and affairs, eating addictions, infidelity, problems of self control, Sexual addiction, sexual addictions, shopping addictions, Understanding Affairs

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!