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Fear is a powerful motivating force. Fear keeps some spouses from even mentioning their suspicions of an affair. Fear is what keeps the adulterer from bringing up the affair. Fear is what keeps the couple from discussing what is missing in their marriage and what their needs are. Instead, they may complain about the secondary symptoms of what is missing, since that is often easier to discuss and blame over. It is easier to complain about sex than to discuss intimacy needs. It is easier to complain about ‘poor communication’ than to discuss the fears that often keep them from open discussions.
Living with fear is often more extreme with couples who grew up in families that operated and existed in fear. Whether fears of rejection, honest, violence or something else. Living in fear brings poor choices and a sense of desperation. There are fears that religious leaders or people in the community would reject them if they were honest. Fear brings torment into the lives and marriages of the people exposed to it.
You can take steps to escape the fear. It begins by being honest with yourself. Tell yourself the truth about yourself and what is going on. Learning to live with honesty will open your eyes to many things. You will find yourself living in a more genuine manner. No need to hide behind masks and veils, you can begin to see through those obfuscating items. True love is incompatible with fear. As you begin increasing your awareness of fear, you will begin hating the fear and how it dominated your life. Once you have begun telling yourself the truth, then you can take steps to secure your safety.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
affairs and religion, fear and affairs, overcoming fear and affairs, overcoming the fears associated with cheating and exposing cheating, Rebuilding the relationship, Understanding AffairsIf you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
It often seems that people are interested in religion and spirituality AFTER and affair occurs. At that point, they want the comfort and solace associated with religion and spirituality. It is as that time, they want their cake and wish to eat it as well. They want the comfort, but not the responsibilities that go with the spirituality. It is as if they want to divorce the responsibility piece from the comfort peace. Spirituality and Religion have the comfort and responsibility intertwined. In order to achieve the full benefit of the comfort, one needs to assume the responsibility required.
If you are in the process of recovering, remember that the comfort carries with it responsibilities. When this is accepted, the changes and comfort it brings with it can help you cope with the cheating/affair and its aftermath.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
affairs and religion, cheating and religion, Rebuilding the relationship, religious comfort after and affair, ResourcesIf you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
