If you want to be notified the next time I write something, sign up for email alerts or subscribe to the RSS Feed. Thanks for reading.

In the aftermath of an affair, it is common to experience self-doubt. After the shock of the news hits you, the world is suddenly different. You may wonder about what is ‘really’ true’ and what else is a lie. There is an unreal sense of everything around you. You may even find yourself questioning your own judgments and perceptions. The world that you were once able to make sense out of is now ‘unknowable’.

Such reactions are common. Your emotions may be running hot and cold. When you talk to your spouse, they may say and do things that leave you questioning your own sanity. What you once knew for sure, there are now many doubts about. What you thought you knew about your spouse, your life and your marriage are now all suddenly in confusion.  During such times, it will be important to take life one day at a time. Rather than trying to make sense of tomorrow or next week, you will be better off making sense of today and making it through the day.

Best Regards,

Jeffrey D. Murrah

aftermath of an affair, aftermath of cheating, depression and an affair, Rebuilding the relationship, Understanding Affairs

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

The sensation that often accompanies the discovery of an affair is that of loss. The loss is often intense and deep. Many liken it to feeling like they have fallen in a hole. The more they think about the affair and what they lost, the deeper they fall into the hole. The hole turns into a pit or abyss when we quit seeing light at the top. When one has fallen in so deep there is no light. The light at the top is one of the signs of hope. When the light is no longer visible, we feel there is no hope.

So how does one get out of the pit?

First, quit falling into it, by focusing on loss and disappointment.  Such sentiments are good for a pity party, but that quickly gets boring since no one else really wants to hear about out misery.

Second, learn to change one’s thinking. The thoughts we feed our mind with are the programming for our brain. When the programming keeps turning out rotten data, the problem is not the data, the problem is the programming. Change the programming.

Best Regards,

Jeffrey Murrah

aftermath of an affair, aftermath of cheating, depression and an affair, Understanding Affairs

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!