Part of the pain involved with coming to grips with affair is the realization that you’ve actually had an affair and that you’ve hurt your spouse deeply. But remember that your spouse, who is also the victim, has been hurt so deeply that reconciliation is only possible with the greatest pains and efforts from you. It will take effort from the both of you to reconcile. Take heart, if your love is true, you will be willing to go through such pains to rebuild your marriage.
As you rebuild your marriage, you should help your spouse recover from the affair. Bear in mind that the few weeks and months after the affair are crucial moments for you and your spouse. Depending on your actions during this period, the recovery period of your spouse may become longer or shorter.
You can help your spouse recover more if you will show her respect and love during the recovery period. By being sensitive to your spouse’s feelings, you can show that she is important to you and that you value her greatly as a person and as a beloved. On the other hand, if you ignore your spouse because you are defensive and you are brooding on your mistake, then the recovery period might go longer. In worst cases, reconciliation might even become impossible.
Help your spouse recover from the affair and you will be able to rebuild your marriage.
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Wendy Dager of the Ventura County Star Newspaper wrote an intriguing column on the prevalence of divorce. Although this is not a divorce blog, it does deal with affairs, and there is a HIGH correlation between affairs and divorce. In the article Wendy raises concerns about what the divorce rate will be among the grandchildren. Similar questions need to be asked concerning affairs. Will your children or grandchildren have affairs? Will affairs be the norm in the future? These are unsettling questions that must be pondered. If you want to stop such patterns from recurring in your family, the time to take action is now. You can do things to turn your marriage around. Divorce does not have to become the norm. Affairs do not have to become the norm either.
Obtaining counseling or help for the dealing with the affair provides other options. You can survive and affair. Consider purchasing Survive Your Partners Affair and helping children deal with affairs as part of your way of stopping the pattern. Affairs and divorce do not have to become part of your family legacy.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
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