In the aftermath of an affair, it seems that much like the vultures circle around a dying animal, suitors seem to circle around what they suspect is a dying marriage. There will be offers to “go out” or “get together”. The suitors do not call it a date, since that would be too intimidating, so they put it in terms of “getting something to eat” or “let’s do something”. Although it is not called a date, it serves the same purpose. Given that you are struggling with your spouse “going out” others are attempting to do that with you. Some spouses take the bait and for ‘revenge’ do something to get back at the infidel by becoming an infidel themselves. That kind of logic to fix the situation does not work. It only serves to create guilt and increase the alienation.
So what is a person supposed to do? You will need friends and people to talk to. It will be important to keep them members of the same gender if that is possible. You will need to keep yourself from getting emotionally entangled in other relationships and other people’s crises. Jumping into other crises will get your mind off your own pain, but it does not improve your relationship. Dating, by whatever label it is called is not something that will improve your relationship. If you want to save the marriage, it is best to avoid it and anything resembling dating.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
adultery, affair revenge, cheating, dating, infidelity, relationships, Understanding AffairsIf you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
In the aftermath of an affair, the question arises as to whether or not the resolute spouse should date. If you are seeking a reconciliation, then dating is something to avoid. Try to consider how dating will be interpreted. In the aftermath of an affair, things are often taken out of context and distorted. Although you may not have meant anything by the dating, consider how it will be interpreted. How does it look? Even though things may have been innocent, dating can be construed as cheating on your spouse. It will be seen as evidence of unfaithfulness. Since we live in a litigious culture, it will be important to consider how it will look in court. Lawyers have a way of making innocent things turn ugly. If what you did can be made to look ugly, you may want to avoid engaging in it. Even if you are just meeting someone for dinner, if your spouse or their lawyer saw you , would it look like a date?
These are just some things to consider.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
affairs, cheating, dating, dating and affairs, infidelity, lawyers and adultery, Understanding AffairsIf you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
