When the ambivalence hits after an affair, some people assume that something is wrong with them. They wonder if it is normal to have feelings of love and hate (or loathing, disgust, revulsion) at the same time. It is normal to feel torn and have mixed feelings. Emotions do not follow the same rules as facts or logic. Having the mixture of feelings is common in dealing with the kind of events associated with an affair. These mixed feelings will continue until action is taken and decisions are made. When decisions are made and commitments are engaged, the ambivalent feelings will begin to fade.

Feelings serve as an early warning system for our hearts. The mixed feelings indicate that there is some conflict in the relationships that are important to us. Recognize that the ambivalence will come and that it is normal. During that time, avoid making major decisions since the emotions color the decisions that are made. It will not last forever.

Best Regards,

Jeffrey Murrah

adulery, affair, ambivalence, emotional reactions, infidelity, relationships, Understanding Affairs

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