In dealing with chemical dependency, I often remind the addicts, that after the drugs are out of the body, then you have to get them out of your head and out of your heart. This same principle applies to affairs, for both the resolute spouse and the infidel. Once the affair is over, you will still have to undo the affair in your head. The mental scar will take longer than a physical scar takes to heal. Realize that it will take time.

It is like changing programing in a computer. There will be days when the program will loop over and over until it finally changes. You will have to remind yourself that although the program is starting like it has many times before, since the affair is over, the outcome of the program will be different. As you de-program these scars in your head, the memory and fantasies regarding the affair will fade. If on the other hand, you continue giving yourself a steady diet of the fantasies, you will find it taking longer to heal and “let go” of the affair and its aftermath.

This is just the overview of what occurs. I will make some future posts concerning the details involved in this process if you all are interested in more information.

Best Regards,

Jeffrey Murrah

adultery, affairs, cheating, fantasies, infidelity, mental scars., Understanding Affairs

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