Communicate and Participate in Rebuilding Your Marriage

Communication is a two-way process. If all you do is talk and talk and talk without considering your partner, he or she might just leave you talking.Health communication allows for both you to talk and listen. The amount of time each talks requires parity. When one person is doing all that talking, then there is little communication going on.

If you knew how to talk, you should learn how to listen.You need to giver your spouse emotional space. Allow them to respond on their time table, not yours. If you ask a question, wait for a response rather than answering it yourself.

If you are the type that simply keeps mum and wait for your partner to do the talking, you should stop being passive and assert yourself! Rather than shutting down, you need to speak out. Being passive does not help your marriage. What you need to do is to cultivate an attitude of taking responsibility and taking action in rebuilding your marriage.

An affair is a very devastating process to go through. But if you take responsibility and work in rebuilding your marriage, you can succeed. You may have to take the responsibility of giving space or the responsibility of speaking up. But if you remain passive, or domineering you might just end up with a divorce and broken hearts.

Communicate. Think about your situation and the state of mind of your partner. If you have been together for several years already, you already know the line of thinking of your spouse and you know the lines and the words that can move him. Don’t just think of your claims and what you are entitled to. Carefully choose the right words and you can start rebuilding your marriage together.

Communicate lovingly but firmly. The affair has to end if it hasn’t already. You can communicate your love to your partner but you should also firmly state your case and what you expect. This isn’t about coercion or blackmail; it is about being true to your vows and your promises. Since you are being true to this, your partner should also demonstrate the same commitment. The first step in healing your marriage is for the affair to stop.

Anticipate your partner’s responses. Since you know your partner well enough, you already know his expected responses. Give allowances for mistakes and time for both of you to recover your bearings. This way, you can both have calmer heads and you can work out how to rebuild your marriage.  

Work together. Love each other. It takes two to tango. There may have been problems in your marriage that led to the affair. But that is already past. You need to work together in rebuilding your marriage since you both love each other. There is no other way. If one of you decides not to help, the results will be devastating.

Rebuilding your relationship is a difficult process but it is not impossible. Communicate with each other and participate in the rebuilding of your marriage.

affair, communication in relationships, infidelity, overcoming an affair, overcoming infidelity, Rebuilding the relationship, relationship

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The mainstream press carried several stories about how Hillary Clinton sat through a sermon on adultery. What people do not realize is that the problem is bigger than adultery. There were several affairs involved with former President Clinton. The issue of dealing with sexual addictions is what they are faced with. Had there been just one adulterous episode, the situation would have been different. She is dealing with someone who had repeated peccadilloes. We are talking about serial affairs. The Monica Lewinsky episode was the one that went very public.

When you are dealing with an affair, it is important that you recognize what you are dealing with. Is the episode a one-time thing or are you up against a well-established pattern of sexual profligacy? Depending on the seriousness of the offense and the pattern, different interventions may be needed.

Best Regards,

Jeff Murrah

adultery and sexual addictions, Affairs in the News, cheating, hillary clinton and adultery, infidelity, overcoming infidelity, Sexual addiction

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