One of the dangers with affairs is the possibility of a divorce. With the possibility of divorce, there is the likelihood of parent alienation occurring. Although this sounds like some weak logical assumptions, it is important to accept that in having an affair there is a risk of parent alienation. No one likes to consider it at the time, but the risk is real.

Since affairs are often taken as personal attacks, when a spouse is threatened by one, they often react by making personal attacks back. When families are involved, the attacks often involve the children. Whether intentional or unintentional the agenda often consists of making your spouse hurt as bad as they hurt you. When the attack is taken personally, the reaction will be personal. One of the ways to attack a person in such a manner is with parent alienation.

The risk of parent alienation is higher when threats of divorce are raised. When the divorce card is played, everything is suddenly taken out of proportion. The rules change. When the legal system is brought in, suddenly perceptions become more important than facts. Fantasies and possible situations situations are now just as valid as reality. This change in rules makes for a confusing state of affairs. Claims and threats of claims regarding parent alienation are made. In some cases, the lawyers are merely maneuvering for better visitation or custody, yet this maneuvering is often at the expense of your emotions and your wallet or purse.

Spouses who feel betrayed often betray those who betrayed them. So if you had an affair, do not be surprised if your spouse betrays you by accusing you of things that you did not do. These feelings of betrayal need to be dealt with rather than being ignored.

Best Regards,

Jeff Murrah

betrayal, divorce from affairs, infidelity, infidelity and parent alienation, parent alienation syndrome

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In expanding the resources available to those dealing with the pain of infidelity, I have posted several hub pages on various Infidelity related topics.

Is it lying or denial?  This hub deals with discerning whether the behaviors you are dealing with are plain and simple lying or something else.

Is it love or love addiction? This hub deals with telling the difference between affairs and possible love addictions.

Infidelity and Custody Concerns. This hub deals with the custody related problems that often occur in conjunction with infidelity.

Infidelity and Parental Alienation Syndrome. This hub deals with a controversial topic in the area of affairs and infidelity.

Time, Money and Infidelity. This hub deals with the role that money plays in the start and on-going aspects of affairs.

There are some other hubs on infidelity as well. These provide more information than the blog post if you want more in depth reading and understanding than the posts provide.

Best Regards,

Jeff Murrah

affairs, Affairs and Children, cheating, custody concerns, divorce, infidelity, marriage counseling, parent alienation syndrome, relationships, Resources

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One of the many areas damaged by Parent Alienation is that the extended family of the alienated spouse is vilified. The programming that was done to create friction between the child/children and the alienated spouse spreads like a bad case of fleas. These ‘hate fleas’ infect anyone associated with the alienated spouse. They infest their family, friends and associates. It seems that the hate has no limits.

Depending on the level of programming conducted by the alienator spouse, the severity can range from minimal to fanatical. The likelihood of fanaticism will increase when mixed with religiosity.  The reason for that is that what happens in those cases is that one spouse will see themselves as morally superior to the other, if their beliefs are mixed in with that, there is an attitude of moral and spiritual superiority, from which vindictive tirades are hurled against the spouse that is the target of the alienation.

In the long run, such actions serve to strain the relations between the child and the affected parent along with the extended family. What the alienator does not realize is that the very seeds of distrust they plant will eventually be used against them as well. Everyone is hurt by alienation, and the exaggeration of faults that often accompanies it.  The events need to be dealt with in a factual manner, not an exaggerated one.

The very support systems that would have provided strength during a difficult time are not there to help the marriage.  I mention Parent Alienation Syndrome, because it often accompanies affairs.

Best Regards,

Jeffrey Murrah

extended family, parent alienation syndrome, severity of alienation

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