In the aftermath of an affair, there is the deep seated desire to punish. Sometimes, this desire is directed at the paramour and sometimes at your spouse. One of the more difficult things to sort out is what is behind this desire. Is it a need to right the wrongs done? If that is the case, punishment will not make things better. Is it to make your spouse pay? Making them pay will certainly not make them want to be near you or draw closer to you. Is it about wanting to get even with the paramour? Getting back at the paramour may make you feel better, but it does not remove your spouses role in what happened. Such questions, when through through will help you to regain your focus, since anger has a way of distracting us and blinding us to what we really want and need. So, before you take off and punish someone, take a moment and consider whether or not it will help to bring healing to the situation.

Best Regards,

Jeffrey Murrah

adultery, benefits fo paybacks, infidelity, marriage, paybacks, punishment for an affair, Rebuilding the relationship, relationships, Understanding Affairs

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