Cinderella went running and left her glass shoes at the palace when the clock struck twelve midnight. I’m sure you still remember her story, how the Prince pursued her and how they lived happily ever after.

Unfortunately for most couples, there isn’t a happily ever after. The prince and princess do not always have a life of bliss after their crisis. At the first sign of trouble, they leave their slippers and their commitment behind and run out of their partnership for good. The likelihood of this is greater with partners who have been married before. The affair can break an enduring marriage because of the deep sense of betrayal and loss of trust. Unlike the Prince in the Cinderella story, a lot of spouses who inflicted the pain of having an affair do not pursue their Cinderella back into their life.

It’s always sad to watch good marriages flounder in mistrust and quarrel. For couples who are going through this stage think that divorce might be the best option. That means, however, that they have given up totally on their marriage!

How about you? If you’re reading this article, then you or somebody you know is probably going through the painful aftermath of an affair. Should you leave the palace for good like what Cinderella has done? Would you wait for the “Prince” to rescue you?

Perhaps a better option would be working out for your marriage after an affair. You might have to spend sometime outside the “castle” of your marriage and think things through. Allow your pain, your bitterness and your anger to simmer down so you would be able to think clearly.

After your period of thinking and assessing the situation, talk to your spouse about the affair. It will be uncomfortable. It will hurt. It will be a difficult time for both of you. But talk anyway. There is no better way of discovering the root causes of the affair. You might discover shortcomings on your end, too. But more importantly, effective communication is the best way to understand each other.

The good thing about communication is that you will be reminded of the importance of the good things about your spouse. And that might be one of the best ways to get back on track with your marriage.

affair, cinderella metaphor, infidelity, Rebuilding the relationship, recovering from infidelity

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If there’s one thing gets lost with an affair—that is the connection between you and your partner. The connection that says you love each other as husband and wife. An affair naturally puts a wedge between you and your partner. The spirit of oneness in the marriage has been damaged. If you are willing, you can put the affair behind you and start anew. After all, such kind of testing can strengthen love if you will allow it.

Yet, after the affair, you might have noticed that there is a marked difference in your married life. Ask yourself where the intimacy has gone, and where your marriage is headed to. The only answer is that you have lost the connection that binds a husband and wife together. That connection is part of the spirit of oneness or sense of connectedness.

Bringing back such connection is not your job. Nor is it your partner’s. It is a joint effort, which you should undertake. In the early stages of the affair, you might have displayed emotional independence and strength. Yet, that kind of independence will have to make way to vulnerability and dependence on your partner. If you will both come to the conclusion that you are supporting each other, then the connection will slowly start coming back to your married life. It takes time, but as you continue depending on each other, you’ll see the connection back.

The more emotions you share with each other and the more experiences the two of you share, the greater the capacity for the connectedness.

Rebuilding the relationship, recovering from an affair, recovering from infidelity, relationships

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