Bringing Back the Lost Passion in Your Marriage

People who engage in an affair often do so out of a misplaced longing for passion. The problem is, they pursue it outside of their marriage. When they do, they hurt themselves and their spouses who love them deeply. What they do not realize is that passion brings pain.

When you are newly married and excited with your spouse, the passion is there. You can sense it and people also recognize it. Yet, as time goes by and children come into your lives, bills pile up and unresolved issues become bigger. The passion dissipates and both of you are wondering where your marriage has gone to.

And then your spouse finds passion elsewhere. The affair becomes full-blown and you discover it. The result of course, is devastation, betrayal and anger. Suddenly, all sorts of emotions rush to you. Jealousy, anger, rage and even love intertwine inside your heart.

It was misplaced passion that took your spouse away. Learning how to deal with passion can also help restore your marriage.

But it takes time and it takes work. Hard work. Restoring passion to your marriage is not a one-person affair. You will need to work with your spouse. You need to communicate more often, talk about your plans, your goals and even your deepest fears. Such small talks can help you stoke the fires of your love and your passion.

As you go through this, the small things that you do will add up until your realize that your passion for each other is building up again. Just be patient. Love might not be enough but at least you are working for your marriage and that will help bring back the passion into your marriage.  

affairs, infidelity, passion, Rebuilding the relationship, recovery from an affair, recovery from infidelity

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Bring Back the Passion to Your Marriage after an Affair

 

One thing that would suffer during an affair is the passion in marriage. Slowly, the passion evaporates. You and your spouse just take each other for granted. Life goes on and then poof!

 

An affair happens, leaving you both in shock and your marriage in shambles.

 

Yet, your marriage is not too hopeless for saving. But both of you will need to work it out. You might see divorce as the only logical option but it is not. What you need to do is to recover your composure. Make sure that the affair is really over and you can start to bring back the passion in your marriage.

 

People fall in love for all sorts of reasons. What they don’t realize is that sometimes, love really isn’t always enough. There are bills to pay, there are negative character traits of your spouse that you have to live with and there are instances that you will have to elevate the quality of your love.  

 

An affair can rock the very foundations of your marriage. If both of you decides to stick it out and affirm your love, you need to do more than just staying together. You need to bring back the passion in your marriage.

 

You should grow together, do things together and really live together. Sometimes, it’s not the big things that strengthen your relationship. Rather, it is the small things. Going out on bicycles on a Sunday afternoon, fishing with your spouse, or just sipping coffee on the porch on a nice evening. This way, you can communicate better and you slowly bring back the passion in your marriage.

 

If you successfully do this, marriage will no longer be routine and predictable, you live with awe and wonder everyday of your life.

affairs, infidelity, Rebuilding the relationship, recovery from an affair

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In checking my e-mails, I was accosted by the usual assortment of ads promising how my love life will totally turn around with someone’s product. Like Superman, I will last longer, be bigger, make her happier, etc. It hit me that many people actually believe these myths. If that pill and the sexual fireworks are all it takes to make her worship me then I do not have to deal with emotions or any relationship building stuff. The pill manages to take all responsibility away from me.

Many affairs have some kernel of that myth within them as well. The fantasy that “everything will improve with great sex”  or that “great sex fixes everything” creates an unrealistic marriage environment. Such thinking places added emphasis on sexual activity. When sex becomes the primary motivator, then the likelihood of affairs increases. Any marital security lies not with commitment or love, but rather with your most recent performance.

Rebuilding the marriage requires house cleaning concerning such myths. The equation that marital satisfaction=sexual performance will need to be dispelled. Yes, there will need to be sex, but not as the primary emphasis around which everything else is based. People need security, they need commitment, they need connection, they need communication, they need more than what sex alone can provide.

Best Regards,

Jeff Murrah

adultery, dealing with adultery, infidelity, Rebuilding the relationship, recovering from adultery, recovery from an affair, sexual enhancing drugs, sexual performance and affairs, Understanding Affairs

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