Bringing Back the Lost Passion in Your Marriage

People who engage in an affair often do so out of a misplaced longing for passion. The problem is, they pursue it outside of their marriage. When they do, they hurt themselves and their spouses who love them deeply. What they do not realize is that passion brings pain.

When you are newly married and excited with your spouse, the passion is there. You can sense it and people also recognize it. Yet, as time goes by and children come into your lives, bills pile up and unresolved issues become bigger. The passion dissipates and both of you are wondering where your marriage has gone to.

And then your spouse finds passion elsewhere. The affair becomes full-blown and you discover it. The result of course, is devastation, betrayal and anger. Suddenly, all sorts of emotions rush to you. Jealousy, anger, rage and even love intertwine inside your heart.

It was misplaced passion that took your spouse away. Learning how to deal with passion can also help restore your marriage.

But it takes time and it takes work. Hard work. Restoring passion to your marriage is not a one-person affair. You will need to work with your spouse. You need to communicate more often, talk about your plans, your goals and even your deepest fears. Such small talks can help you stoke the fires of your love and your passion.

As you go through this, the small things that you do will add up until your realize that your passion for each other is building up again. Just be patient. Love might not be enough but at least you are working for your marriage and that will help bring back the passion into your marriage.  

affairs, infidelity, passion, Rebuilding the relationship, recovery from an affair, recovery from infidelity

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The emotional pain associated with affairs makes them more challenging than they need be often, the pain of what we tell ourselves about the affair is more painful than the actual offense. It seems that we embellish and grow madder as more time passes. With these increasing amounts of emotional pain, a new danger arises. That danger is one of making decisions solely based on what reduces the emotional pain rather than doing what is right.  When in a pain-reduction mode, the emphasis is on quick fixes rather than what is the right thing to do. Although it may seem to be the right thing to do at the time, in many cases it was only felt that way due to you seeking a prompt reduction in pain. The big problem with doing things that quickly reduce pain is that they often become a crutch and keep us from growing and maturing in our relationship with our spouse.

So when you are faced with decisions and choices, consider whether you are looking to do what is right or do what will reduce your emotional pain?

Best Regards,

Jeffrey Murrah

adultery, cheating, dealing with the pain of adultery, infidelity, Rebuilding the relationship, recovery from infidelity, relationships, Understanding Affairs

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