There was an old song that described how for every up there is a down, and for every high there is a low. In relationships there are also these pairings. In relationships where there is a sex addict, there is the counter part known as the sexual co-addict. Although I have mentioned some about the sex addict, the sexual co-addict also has some significant issues that also need mentioning. Although the sex addict is obsessed and acts compulsively regarding sex, the sexual co-addict is often obsessed with the relationship itself. They have often let themselves be used and abused sexually for the sake of keeping the relationship going. They have tolerated a lot of weirdness just for the sake of attention. I suspect that a lot of the swinging situations that I mentioned in a previous post are likely co sex addicts that just go along to keep the relationship going.

When the time comes that you decide to get your marriage healthy, both the addict and the co-addict need help. They will each need to get honest about their issues, behaviors and needs. When things have slid into addiction, the bonding between the two spouses is often more the ‘traumatic bonding’ rather one based on intimacy. In traumatic bonding, the two people are close because they have shared some dangerous situations or situations that are dangerous for them, either physically, emotionally or spiritually. Such a bonding situation is not healthy. If you are the co-addict, you owe it to yourself and your marriage to get help and get healthy.

Best Regards,

Jeff Murrah

adultery, affair, cheating, infidelity, marriage, Sexual addiction, sexual co addiction, traumatic bonding, Understanding Affairs

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