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Stalkers, like other control game freaks, often want more and more control. In some cases that stalker gains enough power over the victim to where there is a blackmail situation. The fear of the secrets getting out is so great that people are put into compromising situations. Secrets often go hand in hand with affairs. The more powerful the secret, the more exciting the affair. When a stalker has control, they have managed to leverage the power of the secret and use that power to exploit the victim. In some cases, the information may be a threat to expose the affair. In other cases, the victim is exploited into having an affair with the stalker. Either way, the effects are devastating.

One of the dangers of blackmail is that is seldom ever ends. The secret continues being used to leverage more. More sex, more money, more secrets, the cycle never ends. Those people with more money, popularity, etc  are more vulnerable to stalkers who want to leverage what they have learned. Whatever their motives, they use fear as a powerful motivation to manipulate the victim. I have also seen this used with persons caught up in the sex trade and swingers lifestyle who wish to leave, yet are trapped by threats of being exposed or used against them in divorce courts.

It is not beyond stalkers and blackmailers to set up traps for their victims. They often operate on a hunting-type mentality that seeks to ensnare and exploit their prey. They are not interested in loving them, only in using them. If you are in one of these situations, it is important that you come up with an escape plan and do it quickly. These situations do not improve over time, they only worsen and the stakes grown greater.

Best Regards,

Jeffrey Murrah

affairs and blackmail, affairs and swingers, dealing with stalkers, Reducing the Risk, sex trade, stalkers and affairs, swingers, Understanding Affairs

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Although the question “What’s so bad about sleeping around?” is viewed as a “duh?” type of question in some parts of the county, I recognize that there are many people who actually do not see problems with the practice. There are also some spouses that are caught up in swinging to the point they see it as acceptable. There are some parts of the country that view a counselor working to save marriages from affairs as a novelty. So for the sake of those people, I will spell out the answer to this question.

Affairs (sleeping around) are destructive to marriages. Contrary to the advice of Ashely Madison and others, they do not enhance the marriage.

1. It creates an environment of distrust.

2. It creates potential exposure to disease.

3. It creates emotional confusion.

4. It weakens the bonds of the marriage relationship.

5. It weakens the bonds of the parent-child relationship.

6. It creates spiritual and emotional dissonance.

7. It damages reputations.

8. It creates an environment conducive to lying.

9. It creates a massive double standard in many areas of the persons life.

10. It creates exposure to blackmail.

11. It creates unnatural bonding and emotional attachments.

12.  It is financially expensive

13. It enlarges legal exposure.

14. It lends itself to creating an atmosphere of gratification without responsibility.

15. It is often life threatening.

These are some of the major concerns involved in what is so bad about sleeping around. You can do something about it though. Obtain a copy of the Affair Recovery System and begin the process of healing your marriage. Each day you do not heal or strengthen your marriage, you weaken it.

Best Regards,

Jeffrey Murrah

recovery from an affair, recovery from cheating, recovery from swinging, swingers, Understanding Affairs

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There are some couples who actually plant seeds for their own destruction within the marriage. One way this occurs is through the use of fantasy and toys. Although many couples find that these may enhance their playtime, there is a hidden danger. The hidden danger is that such practices often lead to you or your spouse developing a taste for the toys and fantasies. This danger becomes apparent when a seducer or seductress dresses or wants to play the same game. Since the sensitivity to the game is already there, the seduction is half-done when it begins. The stiletto heels make you look nice, but you will want your husband attracted to you rather than your stiletto heels. If he is attached to the stilettos more than you, then the next person wearing stilettos will find it easy to attract him. Fetishes, by their very nature, focus on attaching emotions to the objects rather than the person wearing them. So, the same reaction will occur whenever someone else wears the fetish object or toy the next time.

One of the things that swingers find exciting is the dressing up for the event. The excitement of the toys and fantasy is one of the ways used to keep people hooked into such lifestyles.

Best Regards,

J Murrah

fantasy and affairs, fetishes and affairs, infidelity and fetishes, relationships, swingers, Understanding Affairs

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The future forecast regarding infidelity is ominous. It seems that the internet is being tapped to make swinging and affairs easier to occur. In previous days, in order to ’swing’ a person swapped with an acquaintance, which were often neighbors or associates. There were some swinger’s clubs, but in order to gain entrance, a person would have to know someone who invited them. If you were a swinger, local neighbors knew it, and often discussed it. The attention associated with swinging often kept some people away, since they did not want the notoriety.

Now with the internet, there is the capability of discreet affairs and swinging. Adult friend finder has grown into a multi-million dollar business. It has recently been acquired by the adult magazine Penthouse and will now be better financed in attempting to undermine marriages and relationships. There are also entrepreneurs who are seeking to develop social networking sites designed for swingers and infidels. The latest site is Browsercast. I am passing this article and links along, not to encourage participation but to alert those of you who are faced with these challenges as to the latest dangers out there. It is not beyond an infidel to lie or distort information to confuse you. Using excuses like “Browsercst is just another Facebook” or “Browsercast is just another MySpace” will only serve to confuse the real intentions. (BTW, the social network sites are a place where infidels often make contacts. The research indicates it is easier to score on MySpace than Facebook. If your spouse maintains a profile, you may want to check it out, especially if the profile is of a pseudonym or alias).  With these new technologies backed with funding, there will be bigger challenges to marriages who believe in the one man-one woman model.

Best Regards,

Jeffrey Murrah

Adult Friend Finder, adultery, affairs, Affairs in the News, Browsercast, cheating, infidelity, Penthouse, swingers, Understanding Affairs

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