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Recently I was asked whether married women have affairs. The answer is yes, some do have affairs. The questioner also wanted to know “What percentage of married women have affairs?”.  This is a difficult question to provide a concrete answer to. The studies that have been done have reported a wide range of answers. In looking at those studies, the number of people involved was not large enough for me to put much faith in any of their findings.

What I do know is that some do have affairs. The numbers do seem to be increasing, yet not as quickly as for the husbands. The number of married women who admit to issues related to sexual addictions is also increasing. The numbers concerning sexual addiction also seems to be cutting across value and belief systems as well. These are trends that concern me and should concern every couple around the world. Even though the values of your nation or religion may have serious penalties for infidelity, it does not mean that such behavior does not occur or that sexual addictions are not present.

In my work with couples, there are also the usual issues of “What do you consider an affair?” Although some people draw the line at coitus, others draw the line at sexual stimulation, and some draw the line at emotional involvement with people.

There is also the issue of swingers and open marriages. When a person does not believe an affair is wrong, should it be considered an “affair?” Some wives are under the dominion of their spouses to the degree that they do not have the freedom to discuss affairs of either their husband or themselves.

Although affairs do happen with married women, we do not know the full numbers of the phenomena. There are still many emotional issues associated with even discussing affairs and coming to an agreement about what constitutes and affair. What is clear is that ignoring the issue will not make it go away. If you suspect an affair or know of one, there is help. The Affair Recovery System will provide you with information and direction concerning how to deal with the situation. You may also want to call a marriage counselor to address the issue. If there are none available in your area or none you feel comfortable with consider telephone counseling as an option to address the issues present in your marriage. Married women do have affairs and you can take steps to help the situation.

Best Regards,

Jeffrey Murrah

infidelity and counseling, marriage counseling, married women and affairs, open marriages, swingers and affairs, Understanding Affairs

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One of the more tragic affair situations that I have encountered are those where a spouse exploits their partner. The exploitations I have dealt with have run the gamut from letting other people use one’s spouse as in a swingers party to using the sexual favors of one’s wife to pay for the husband to pay the amount due for a drug deal. Such situations are ugly. Besides being ugly, they are painful for those involved to discuss.

Such situations are more painful since there is a deliberate rejection of their spouse. Added to the rejection is using them as sexual object for their selfish gratification. In many of these cases, the wife has already been emotionally beat down. They are at a point where they are willing to do anything to please their husbands. The husband’s are aware of their vulnerability and exploit it. The offer of “I will do anything” is taken up on. In such cases, they have their wives do anything and everything that they can imagine. With each each act of debauchery, the wife often feels more shame and hurt. When the situation finally spins out of control, there are often sexual addictions or a lifestyle of being trapped into something they do not know how to escape from. In such situations, the spouse has turned into a sexual slave.

Waking up to the unnaturalness of such situations is a start. The victims and their spouses need to become aware that such lifestyles are not fulfilling. Once there is an awareness, then steps can be taken to emerge from the lifestyle and repair the marriage, when possible. In many cases, the spouse is so far gone, they are cold and hard to any emotional pleas or hurts of their spouse. Extricating oneself from such situations is not easy, but it is well worth the struggle.

Best Regards,

Jeffrey Murrah

affairs and exploited wives, affairs and sexual addiction, affairs and swapping, Sexual addiction, shame and affairs, swingers and affairs, Understanding Affairs

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