As a seasoned counselor, I’ve developed a unique approach to understanding the intricacies of human behavior. Inspired by one of my professor’s valuable advice, I always strive to uncover the true motivations behind our questions. This exceptional insight has shed light on countless perplexing situations.
Recently, a reader posed a thought-provoking question: “Does depression cause someone to cheat?” This query instantly ignited my curiosity. It conjured images of partners exploiting depression as a justification for their unfaithfulness. As a loving spouse, it’s natural to want to trust their words, but sometimes their excuses defy reason.
The truth is, that depression can push people to do desperate things. In the midst of their agony, they may seek solace in an affair, a feeble attempt to alleviate their pain. They are in a desperate place and the affair offers an alternative to feeling dead and lifeless. It’s disheartening to witness depression being used as a crutch to justify infidelity. It’s as if the affair happens first, and then the cheater looks for something to blame it on. Depression makes a convenient object to blame.
It’s crucial to acknowledge the profound impact of depression on one’s thinking. When consumed by despair, individuals prioritize immediate relief rather than considering the long-term consequences of their actions. While affairs might provide a temporary mood boost, where they feel alive, they ultimately exacerbate the effects of depression. The guilt, shame, and erosion of the marital bond become self-defeating.
Let me be unequivocal: depression does not compel someone to cheat. Instead, it serves as a backdrop for seeking an ill-advised solution to their misery. The affliction is genuine, but the affair is a misguided attempt at self-medication. The problem lies in their solution to the depressive state they are in.
This also means that the betrayal in those situations is not a deliberate rejection of you as a partner. Numerous factors—including distorted thinking patterns, fluctuating moods, and altered behavior—contribute to their actions.
When a spouse grappling with depression engages in an affair, it undoubtedly damages the trust within your marriage. This breach of trust cannot be ignored. In my video, “How Can I Trust You Again?” I provide essential guidance on rebuilding and improving the trust in your relationship.
In conclusion, let’s keep it real and acknowledge the complexities surrounding the relationship between depression and infidelity. Shedding light on this fragile dynamic is the first step towards finding healing and restoration.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
