Although it is an unpleasant prospect, many spouses drive their partners off. Many times it is easier to condemn the infidel for their unfaithfulness rather than question one’s own loyalties prior to the affair. A common pattern that I have seen is when the spouse places children, job or hobbies ahead of their spouse. Since relationships need attention and nurturing, spouses often seek where their needs can be met. I often use the metaphor of a favorite gas station. When that station is out of gas, what do you do? Most people go to the next station. Likewise, when spouses are neglected and ignored, they often find ways to meet their needs in another relationship. It is important to remember that no one ever leaves a good lover (except sex addicts). If your spouse is leaving you, it may help to consider whether or not you are the great lover you thought you were. (Note: When I talk about being a good lover, I am not referring to pharmaceutical performance enhancers. I am referring to attention, adoration, time and kind words).
Before you start making accusations about ‘hussies’ and ‘skirt chasers’, consider the part you have played in what has occurred.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
