One of the dangers of the ‘Playboy’ mentality (or philosophy) is the demeaning it does of women. Women are no longer looked at as wives, but rather as playmates or pets.
Those infected with the playboy mentality have new playthings to enjoy themselves each month. Such a mentality disrupts marriages by weakening the marital bonds and distorting desire.
In the Playboy Mentality, spouses are not viewed as equals, adults or even partners. They are viewed as less than partners. They are viewed as ‘toys’. With spouses viewed as toys, the other spouse not only plays with them, but also plays with their feelings. They don’t take the relationship or the emotions serious. Since the wife is a toy, they are treated as a ‘toy’ to be used for their selfish pleasure. There is a place for pleasure, but when it becomes the primary drive, it becomes destructive.
The toy is taken out and played with. After playtime, the toy is returned to the shelf until it is playtime again. Making a marriage work requires 24 hour effort. It’s not by accident that Playboy magazine feature ‘playmate of the month’. Each month, the consumer is treated to a new toy for their pleasure and consumption.
Putting aside one’s spouse on the shelf does not provide the foundation needed for a healthy marriage relationship. When wives are viewed as playthings, if the husband tires of one toy, he selects another one without any guilt or remorse.
It creates an unrealistic view of marriage, places an undue emphasis on sex appeal and physical attractiveness instead of commitment and responsibility.
The playboy mentality encourages irresponsibility without accountability. Irresponsibility without accountability amounts to childish selfishness. The person with this mindset thinks primarily about themselves and satisfying their desires ahead of any needs their spouse has. This kind of thinking leads to self-indulgence at the expense of others.
It is also blatantly anti-Biblical. Marriage is meant to be a ‘special’ life long relationship, rather than one designed for throwing away once the ‘fun’ is worn off.
Such a mentality is also brutalizing. It uses the woman for a limited purpose. At its extreme, women are viewed as ‘dumpsters’ for men.
In the Playboy approach, when one toy wears out, they merely select another one to feed their appetites.
Sexual activity is indulged in without moral restrains. Some women have even gone along with it so far as to refer to themselves as “boy toys“. Time spent with other male companions is referred to as ‘play time’.
If you find yourself caught up in the playground mentality, this is a wake up call to take action. Marriage is for adults. Relationships require adult commitment.
Granted, adults need some time to enjoy each other, and enjoy life. It’s when the enjoyment slips into the playboy attitude when one party doesn’t take the other seriously, when self-gratification is the main rule of the day, when women are treated as inferiors that a wake up call is needed.
As with all exploitative relationships, one party can’t hold down the other, without it demeaning themselves as well. It is not only the wife only who’s devalued. The husband devalues himself in being a part of this mindset. His view of manhood and what it means to be a man is damaged as well. Playing house is the game of the day rather than ‘being in relationship’ with someone you love.
Since affairs start in the heart and in the mind, addressing the attitude underlying affair/cheating is important. When the playboy mentality rules the day, it is only a matter of time before the devaluing begins.
If your marriage has sunk into this mindset, it needs help. My “30 Days to a Restore Your Marriage” is just what you need to start turning your marriage around.
Best Regards,
Jeff
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