There are some cheaters brazen enough to claim that it’s “God’s will” for them to have an affair. Some lovers even go so far as stealing spouses with the cheater blindly following using the same excuse.
Affairs are passionate enough without the added dimension of claiming “God’s will” in the matter.
Is it God’s will to have an affair? <<– listen to the audio here
Hi, this is Jeff Murrah with Affair Recovery Radio. I’m glad that you’re here with us today. The show we’re going to be doing today is a response to a question that came in on the blog.
The question is, “Is it’s God’s will to have an affair?” I’ve also seen this as a question and a concern on some other sites, as well, and I felt like I need to deal with that one.
As tragic as it seems, there are some cheaters brazen enough to claim that it’s God’s will for them to have an affair. This one bothers me, because as a spiritual person, a Christian, I have problems with people doing something like that and associating it with God’s name.
I can assure you that poaching spouses in God’s name is not condoned under the Ten Commandments. It was not condoned by Jesus. I don’t know where they get off stealing something that belongs to someone else, claiming it’s God’s will.
Some even go so far with their spouse stealing that the cheater follows along blindly. Oh gee, she said “It’s God’s will, I’m going to go ahead and do it”. Affairs are passionate enough without this added dimension of claiming that it’s God’s will. That just messes things up worse.
I can assure you that the God of the Bible, the God of the Torah, doesn’t condone affairs. When you hear “God’s will” being connected with an affair, I can assure you you’re not dealing with the God of the Bible. You are also facing a very serious threat.
There is an answer, to “How do you deal with this situation?”
I’m going to use the analogy of card playing. When you’re playing cards you need to keep a clear head and avoid mixed drinks, plain and simple. A lot of people don’t follow that simple advice, it gets them into trouble. Likewise, I’m using that analogy as a way of understanding the situation about God’s will.
I use the card playing metaphor because when they say that the affair is God’s will they’re playing a religion card. When this card is played you’re not dealing with a rational situation.
Reason and logic are wasted on trying to deal with these people, because once they put down that religion card you’re dealing with ‘beliefs’.
You’re not dealing with reason, you’re not dealing with logic.
You’re dealing with zealous passions, you’re dealing with beliefs, you’re dealing with religious zealotry. And you’re going to have to realize that.
These are people making the rules up as they go. You’re not going to be able to appeal to a standard set of rules. You’re not going to be able to appeal to the Bible, because even if you did they’re going to come up with their own interpretation of things that don’t follow the rules.
That’s the first step.
1. You’re going to have to know what you’re dealing with, what kind of game you’re into, once they start playing that religion card.
2. You’re going to need to keep a clear head. For your own peace of mind, let me assure you the God of the Bible does not condone affairs. Don’t let them confuse you with this.
These types will try confusing you with a lot of religious jargon, and one-upmanship. In this case it’s a very self-righteous one-upmanship, but it’s still a basic one-upmanship.
Like a mockingbird, they’ll sound like everything but what they truly are. They’re going to give you all kinds of religious jargon and righteous words, and it’s all about hiding their true nature of what they really are. Then they sound like a God-fearing person, but God does not give licenses for affairs.
Let that sink in.
3. I mentioned the metaphor of the mixed drinks and we’re going to get into that here. Because sexuality and salvation, they don’t mix. God does not get into your pants in order to save your soul. I know that sounds tacky, but unless you are dealing with followers of a strange pagan religious cult you don’t get salvation by getting in someone’s pants.
I hate to have to tell y’all this, but I know that these people are out there. I’ve worked with them in my office. I’ve seen them.
Sometimes I have to pinch myself afterwards, saying did that really take place? Did somebody really fall for it? Yes, it did, and people do fall for it.
It’s only in Greek mythology where the gods or the gods’ messengers get into people’s pants to save them. This was the type of stuff Zeus did.
He would go around seducing all kinds of people in order to make them feel special. This is not the God of the Bible. It’s only Zeus that gets into people’s pants like that.
When a seducer uses sex to ‘save’ someone or make them ‘special’ through an affair, you’re not dealing with any type of God of the Bible. They may be using a lot of Bible words, but that’s not what you’re dealing with. You’re dealing with somebody who’s definitely self-serving.
I know I don’t usually deal with a lot of topics like this, but I felt like I needed to because there’s a lot of you that are hurting out there that have been victimized in the name of God with these types of situations.
I know when I have visited the site “She’s A Homewrecker” I read the accounts and it blows my mind some of the things that people will do.
But you’ve got some direction now, and I tried to provide you with some answers as to what you’re dealing with. It’s not going to totally eliminate the situation, but let’s you know that you’re dealing with someone that is not being reasonable and you’re going to be banging your head against a wall to try to appeal to reason with them. They are a tough bunch to deal with.
If you’re facing one of those situations where divine will promotes the affair, your marriage needs help. The downloadable ‘Affair Recovery Workshop‘ helps you get your marriage back to where it needs to be. Yes, there will be times are forced out of your comfort zone and others when the cheater is outside of their comfort zone.
Affair Recovery works best when both of you participate in the recovery.
Best Regards,
Jeff
