One of the traditions we have around that time of year is watching some of our favorite movies from over the years. In watching them I see and hear things that stand out. This year, we watched the Firefly series. I have always enjoyed the Shepherd Book’s line “If you take sexual advantage of her you’re going to burn in a special level of hell”. Although the specific offenses mentioned are lumped in with speaking in movie theaters, the line resonates on many levels.
Shepherd Book’s character knew something about the painful consequences for choices regarding sexual activity. His line came as a warning to Captain Reynolds. Like the flashing yellow warning lights, it alerted the Captain to the potential dangers ahead. Although it was presented in humor, it alerted the Captain to the dangers ahead if he gave into his baser urges.
I mean, even Dante had a ‘special level in hell’ set aside for adulterers.
In my own mind, I’d love to whisper that line in the ears of any lover looking to poach a spouse away from their family. They and the cheater need someone reminding them of the potential damage their gratification is bringing. They need to see the FULL price tag that somebody’s got to pay rather than the feel goodies they get caught up in. They need reminding of “If you take sexual advantage of her you’re going to burn in a special level of hell”.
I mention Shepherd Book’s line since one of the big days that cheaters get caught on is New Year’s Day. Why you may ask. The reason is that cheaters either send or receive “Happy New Year’s ” greetings in connection with their lover. This is the time you can search the cheater’s smartphone and make some big discoveries.
This also means that New Years is also a time when the old wounds may ache again. Even though you mind moves on, your emotions remember.
The good news is that you can make changes. You and your spouse can cancel any visits to that “special level of hell” by taking steps at turning your marriage around. Sure, there will be some struggles, challenges and effort. Making marriages work always takes effort. The choice of having an affair amounts to someone making soft easy choices rather than doing what’s right.
No matter how much effort is extended in improving your marriage, it always pays dividends. Just changing the direction of your lives makes a big difference. Learning better ways of communicating, building intimacy and knowing what things to talk about that make big changes are transformative.
The Affair Recovery Workshop I developed using the ‘direct connect system’ provides you with the tools for transforming your marriage. This is a great time to make changes in your marriage. Just because there is a special place for cheaters does not mean that they have to stay on their present course.
Best Regards,
Jeff
