How Past Trauma Haunts Your Present and Affects Affair Recovery

In a recent post, I shared my experience with hurricane trauma reactions triggered by recent storms. It’s hard to cover everything in a short letter, but another crucial aspect of trauma that often gets overlooked is something called “body memories.” While my mind had blocked out some of the more painful recollections, my body hadn’t forgotten.

You see, your body remembers the experiences it’s been through. The aches, pains, and sensations — your body stores them, even when your mind tries to forget. Sometimes, these stored memories resurface unexpectedly, reactivating feelings or sensations tied to past trauma. If you’ve ever wondered, “Where are these feelings coming from?”, chances are, it’s your body trying to tell you something. These are body memories.

What Are Body Memories?

Nerves are at the core of body memories. The same nerve cells that help you form mental memories also record physical memories. They “remember” experiences even when your conscious mind does not. The tricky part is that you can’t always predict when they’ll be triggered.

One day, seemingly out of the blue, you might experience fear or other sensations that don’t seem to have any clear cause. Why? Because the trauma your body experienced is still stored in your nerve cells. Nerve cells cover your body inside and out, recording every physical experience you’ve gone through — whether it was being mishandled, hit, or even undergoing surgery.

These memories remain imprinted in your nerves, waiting to be reactivated by a trigger. This can manifest as physical symptoms such as pain, numbness, or tingling, even when there’s no apparent physical threat.

The Reality of Body Memories

Body memories can be confusing. They can feel so real and so immediate that you might think something is wrong with you. You may even dismiss these sensations, believing that they don’t mean anything. But that’s where you’d be wrong.

These sensations are your body’s way of telling you that it remembers the trauma. It’s important to acknowledge these sensations for what they are — a physical manifestation of past trauma — and to find healthy ways to cope with them.

In a sense, your body acts like a filing cabinet, storing all these traumatic experiences. When something happens that reminds your body of a past event, those memories come flooding back. It can feel like you’re reliving the trauma all over again.

Why Your Body Remembers What Your Mind Doesn’t

Here’s the thing: some areas of your body have large concentrations of nerve cells. These areas even perform a type of thinking all their own. So, while your mind may have blocked out the awareness of the trauma, your body never forgets.

This can lead to moments where you feel a sensation but can’t identify a reason for it. The disconnect between what your body is saying and what your mind remembers can leave you feeling confused, anxious, or even a little crazy. But your body isn’t lying to you — it’s reminding you that something needs closure after what you’ve been through.

How This Affects Affair Recovery

If your body is reacting one way to the affair, but your mind remembers something else entirely, you may be stuck in Affair Trauma. When you’re unable to reconcile these two aspects of yourself, the trauma lingers.

The good news is, you don’t have to stay stuck. In the video “Overcoming Affair Trauma,” I guide you through the steps to get unstuck and move past this difficult phase. With a little help, you can begin to reconcile your mind and body and move forward in your recovery.