How to Overcome the Scars of Adultery

There are moments when something I read truly makes me stop and take notice. While many news items and articles today can feel like fleeting pulp, some writers invest deep thought into their work, leaving a lasting impact.

One such writer is Camille Paglia. Although I don't always agree with her perspectives, she has a way of making statements that demand attention. She’s a thinker, someone who carefully considers what she writes, and that’s something I respect.

A quote of hers that recently caught my eye was this: “We cannot have a world where everyone is a victim. 'I'm this way because my father made me this way. I'm this way because my husband made me this way.' Yes, we are indeed formed by traumas that happen to us. But then you must take charge, you must take over, you are responsible.”

I find her approach to trauma and how we deal with it both refreshing and powerful. Traumas, like adultery, leave deep scars on your soul. These scars aren't pretty—they serve as painful reminders of the hurt you've endured.

But once you acknowledge these scars, you’re faced with a critical choice: What are you going to do about them? How you respond to the scars left by trauma is an essential consideration. Will you let these scars dictate your actions and thoughts, or will you take control of your own life?

Paglia is right in saying that while we are shaped by our traumas, we ultimately decide how much power those traumas hold over us. We can choose to remain victims, blaming others for our actions and behaviors, or we can take responsibility for ourselves and our choices.

In this sense, trauma becomes a turning point in our lives. It’s not something that should define us or hold us back. Instead, it offers an opportunity for growth and self-reflection.

You may not have had any control over how the trauma happened, but you do have control over how you deal with the scars it leaves behind. So, how will you respond to Camille Paglia's challenge that "you must take charge, you must take over, you are responsible"?

Are you ready to take charge and embark on your own healing journey? When left unaddressed, those scars can keep you trapped in a cycle of victimhood. Rather than remaining frozen in a moment defined by trauma, you have the power to move beyond it.

By taking charge and addressing the effects of trauma, you begin the process of healing—both the visible scars and the ones buried deep inside.

In the video "Overcoming Affair Trauma," I share strategies to help you get unstuck, move past the trauma, and reclaim your life.