The Playboy Mentality and Affairs

One of the dangers of the ‘Playboy’ mentality is the demeaning way it views women. Women are no longer seen as wives and partners but rather as playmates or pets. This mentality disrupts marriages by weakening marital bonds and distorting desire.

The Playboy Mentality and Its Impact

Those infected with the playboy mentality see their spouses as new playthings to enjoy each month. In this mindset, spouses are not viewed as equals, adults, or even partners. They are seen as less than partners—as ‘toys.’ When spouses are viewed as toys, the other spouse not only plays with them but also manipulates their feelings. They don’t take the relationship or the emotions seriously. Since the wife is a toy, she is treated as an object for selfish pleasure. There is a place for pleasure in marriage, but when it becomes the primary drive, it becomes destructive.

The toy is taken out and played with, then put back on the shelf until playtime again. Making a marriage work requires effort 24/7. It’s not by accident that Playboy magazine features a ‘playmate of the month.’ Each month, the consumer is treated to a new toy for their pleasure and consumption.

The Unrealistic View of Marriage

Putting aside one’s spouse on the shelf does not provide the foundation needed for a healthy marriage relationship. When wives are viewed as playthings, if the husband tires of one toy, he selects another without any guilt or remorse. This creates an unrealistic view of marriage, placing an undue emphasis on sex appeal and physical attractiveness instead of commitment and responsibility.

The playboy mentality encourages irresponsibility without accountability, which amounts to childish selfishness. The person with this mindset thinks primarily about themselves and satisfying their desires ahead of any needs their spouse has. This kind of thinking leads to self-indulgence at the expense of others.

The Anti-Biblical Nature of the Playboy Mentality

The playboy mentality is also blatantly anti-Biblical. Marriage is meant to be a special, lifelong relationship, not one designed for discarding once the ‘fun’ is worn off. This mentality is also brutalizing, using women for limited purposes. At its extreme, women are viewed as ‘dumpsters’ for men.

In the Playboy approach, when one toy wears out, they merely select another to feed their appetites. Sexual activity is indulged in without moral restraints. Some women have even gone along with it so far as to refer to themselves as “boy toys.” Time spent with other male companions is referred to as ‘playtime.’

The Need for a Wake-Up Call

If you find yourself caught up in the playboy mentality, this is a wake-up call to take action. Marriage is for adults. Relationships require adult commitment. Granted, adults need some time to enjoy each other and enjoy life. It’s when the enjoyment slips into the playboy attitude—when one party doesn’t take the other seriously when self-gratification is the main rule of the day, and when women are treated as inferiors—that a wake-up call is needed.

As with all exploitative relationships, one party can’t hold down the other without demeaning themselves as well. It is not only the wife who’s devalued. The husband devalues himself by being a part of this mindset. His view of manhood and what it means to be a man is damaged as well. Playing house is the game of the day rather than ‘being in a relationship’ with someone you love.

Addressing the Underlying Attitude

Since affairs start in the heart and in the mind, addressing the attitude underlying affairs and cheating is important. When the playboy mentality rules the day, it is only a matter of time before the devaluing begins.

If your marriage has sunk into this mindset, it needs help. My “30 Days to Restore Your Marriage” program is just what you need to start turning your marriage around.

Best Regards,

Jeff