The Surprising Truth About Affair Recovery and the Power of Patience

Mentors have played a huge role in shaping my journey as a counselor. Each one brought unique insights that have stuck with me. People like Bob Reichlin, Dan Minner, and Marlin Lance all taught me something invaluable, even though their approaches were as different as day and night.

In affair recovery, mentors often come in the form of sponsors or coaches—people who guide you through the experience with their hard-earned wisdom. I’ve been lucky to have had mentors who challenged my assumptions and helped me grow.

One day, Marlin said something to me that didn’t hit right away but has stuck with me over the years. He told me, "Jeff, you're a lot further from God than you think you are, and it's going to take longer than you think to get back." At the time, I brushed it off. But as time passed, I realized how true his words were. It took much longer to get back on track than I had anticipated. I made some serious miscalculations about my own journey.

I thought I was a good person—and I was—but I also learned that even good people slip up. And when they do, the path to recovery is often longer and more difficult than expected. I had certain ideas about how long it should take to "get back," but soon discovered I needed to double my expectations. It took twice as long as I imagined.

How Long Does Affair Recovery Take?

When it comes to affairs, you’re likely wondering the same thing: "How long will recovery take?" or "How long until I feel normal again after infidelity?" I can’t give you a maximum timeline, but I can say this: It will take at least 24 months.

The first 24 months require the cheater to focus intensely on recovery. It’s not just about ending the affair. Recovery means getting the affair out of their head and heart, rebuilding trust, reconnecting with each other, and learning how to have a healthy relationship again. Taking shortcuts only means that recovery will take even longer.

Whatever timeframe you initially think is reasonable for healing and rebuilding—double it. That doubling gives you a more realistic ballpark figure to work with. It takes time to unlearn bad habits and heal emotional wounds. It takes even more time to rebuild healthy intimacy and trust.

The Power of Patience in Recovery

Patience is critical during affair recovery. Expecting faster results will only lead to disappointment. The truth is, it takes longer to rebuild than it did to mess up. As Marlin Lance once told me, you start your recovery plan, you work it, and you stay with it.

If you stick to the plan and stay patient, you’ll see results over time. The video "Preventing Affair Relapse" can guide you through what you need to focus on, showing you the areas that need the most attention. The longer you work on your affair recovery plan, the better your results will be.

Putting Promises to the Test

One thing affair recovery will reveal is whether the cheater means all those promises they made to you. The process will show if they’re truly committed to changing and rebuilding trust. It’s not a quick fix—it’s a journey. And like any journey worth taking, it requires patience and perseverance.

If you’re committed to recovering from the affair and preventing relapse, it’s time to take action. Click and download the video today and start working on your plan for healing.