Why Affairs Fizzle Out: How Dopamine Drives Cheating

Have you ever wondered why the cheater is so passionate about the affair at first followed by a big letdown? They take off like a rocket and then act like the relationship is ho-hum. Although the affair hits the ho-hums, they don’t want to end it. They aren’t as excited as they once were and now seem to be coasting on fumes. You have seen this pattern before.

Seeing these changes puzzled your mind. You may have even thought that the problem with all these ups and downs in their relationships was you, or your lack of attraction. The truth is, the decline in passion isn’t about your attraction or your sexiness. It’s also not about your weight or your sexual prowess.

If you’ve seen these kinds of changes in your spouse what you’re witnessing are the effects of dopamine on them. This powerful chemical is the answer to your questions about the changes you see, and their reluctance to end the affair.

In many of the posts I share, I’ve pointed out that the problem is inside the head and heart of the cheater. This chemical works in their brain, changing both their mood and their thinking. It’s also the reason they’re willing to risk everything they have for something they may not even want in the long run.

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that plays a major role in the brain’s pleasure and reward system. This chemical is released when we do something that feels good, such as eating our favorite food or having sex.

The power of dopamine is beyond what many people can handle. The thrill that dopamine brings makes them forget all about their family, their commitments, and their marriage vows. This chemical is one of the main reasons why cheaters become addicted to their affair partners.

But why does dopamine seem to fade after a while in an affair? In simple terms, the effect of dopamine is temporary. Just like any other addictive substance, the initial rush eventually wears off over time. The constant search for that same intense feeling leads individuals to engage in riskier behaviors or seek out new sources of dopamine release, such as having multiple affairs.

Moreover, once the initial excitement and thrill of being with someone new starts to wear off, many cheaters may start to feel guilty about their actions and question if their decision was worth it. It’s not that they don’t care about those things. The chemical’s effect on them is stronger than their preferences.

This also means when going through affair recovery, the two of you need to deal with what’s going on in your head in terms of managing the dopamine rush. You need interventions that deal with what’s been changed in their thinking. It’s not just about apologies. You need ways of restoring their mind to where it needs to be.

Your biggest enemy isn’t the lover, but instead, the cheater’s mind and heart.

Keeping the lover away is only a temporary fix. If that’s all you do, it’s only a matter of time before they find someone else. Instead of quick fixes, use an approach that deals with changing their brain as well.

Think about it this way, if you don’t change their mind and heart, you are setting yourself up for the same cycle to repeat itself. You must focus on them as much as the other person.

If your spouse is a cheater caught in dopamine overload, they need help managing it. Affair Recovery Workshop is designed to provide that help.

The dopamine high that comes from an affair is intense, but it doesn’t last forever. Just like any other high, the effects eventually wear off, and reality sets in.

When this happens, the cheater is left feeling empty and unfulfilled.