How to cope with a cheating spouse

Al Gore is not stranger to the media. His time in public life has made many of his activities a public matter. Presently his situation is mired in controversy. In the latest round are accusations that he fondled a masseuse. Bear in mind that no one leaves a ‘good lover’ unless there are other issues involved. The image that their marriage was ideal was presented to the public in 2000. For the couple to separate ten years later raises some eyebrows and concerns. According to one source, Tipper had suspected that Al had affairs with at least five women. A suspicious spouse does not make for a stable marriage, neither does a spouse in a powerful political position with all the temptations that come with that office.

Your marriage does not have to end due to a suspicious spouse or some indiscretions. An affair does not have to end a marriage. It is quite possible that Al and Tipper still love each other. For whatever reason, they just can not live with each other or choose not to live with each other. You can take steps now so that your marriage does not have to end like the Gore’s marriage, mired in controversy and demeaning to your reputation. You can visit my site, www.SurviveYourParatnersAffair.com and find ways to avoid loosing your relationship.

Best Regards,

Jeffrey D Murrah

The Jesse James and Sandra Bullock situation just turned commercial. In the latest twist of events, the ‘lover’ of Jesse James has just promoted an infidelity website. In older days, such a woman would be referred to as a gold-digger. The action of the lover raises the question as to whether this was an affair or marketing for her latest product.

Best Regards,

Jeff Murrah

A nurse in England has been identified in a case where she was sleeping with the husbands of dying cancer patients. The nurse has since been dismissed from her position. This story brings to our awareness the danger of people being taken advantage of when they are vulnerable. The husbands of those dying women were emotionally vulnerable. While in that vulnerable state, they were easily exploited. The nurse, being a health care worker, was in a position of authority and looked up to. That role was one where she was trusted by the husbands. She exploited that trust and their admiration, turning it into an affair. What made matters worse was that she engaged in this action repeatedly. Although hospitals are supposed to be safe places, it does not mean that they are danger free.

Best Regards,

Jeffrey Murrah

Affairs in the News, cheating in hospitals, hospitals and affairs, nurses and cheating

It is shocking enough to discover that ones spouse has a lover, but imagine having another wife. In the case of Faye Miller of Michigan, it was not one wife, but two. She was shocked to discover that her husband of 10 years (Dr. Kenneth Mitchell)  had two other wives. Although there were accusations of an affair at one point, he reassured his wife that that affair was over. The couple even went to counseling in the aftermath of that disclosure. As Faye continued recovering, she began investigating her marriage, which was filled with large periods of time when she was alone. Her investigation uncovered a betrayal worse than she could imagine.

Her husband had managed to have three wives in three separate cities. The event has gained attention in Michigan and across the border in Canada, where the doctor had one of his wives.

Faye only discovered this infidelity by google searches and going through phone records.  To make matters worse, he had assumed another identity and changed religious affiliations without informing her of these changes. The couple had children together. Over the years, she thought that he was working at his other clinics or at medical conferences.

Situations such as this are difficult to comprehend. The extent of the lies and deception are astounding. Despite all the lies, the husband’s attorney insists that his client never intended to lead the women astray.(yeah, right!)

In such situations, feelings of betrayal at many levels occur. Given the amount of planning involved with such affairs, these were not happen stance or one night stands. This was a planned, deliberate pattern to deceive and hide the true nature of what was going on. It is tragic to think that such behavior could occur in any civilized nation.

This extreme situation is a clear presentation of how far some people will go to hide affairs (and other marriages). Those caught up in affairs are not beyond developing other identities, lying, or misleading their spouses. If you have an ‘unusual marriage’ where there are long periods in which you are alone, you may want to investigate things further, like Faye did.

Best Regards,

Jeffrey D. Murrah

Affairs in the News, Dr Kenneth Mitchell, Faye Miller, three wives

In a recent court case in Waco, Texas a former minister is on trial for killing his wife in order to be with his mistress. The relationship began when the minister began counseling with the woman in the aftermath of her divorce. The minister then used the relationship with the lover as a way of getting out of a marriage he was not happy with. The unrestrained passions eventually led to him murdering his wife, Kari Baker.

Unrestrained passions often end up with unintended consequences. The same energy the fiery passion of an affair brings to ones life is the same fiery passion that when directed in anger can and often does lead to disastrous results.

At the time of her death, there were questions raised as to whether it was a suicide or murder.  The adulterous husband went to great lengths to cover his actions. The traits which an adulterer uses to obsess about the object of their desires was turned on ways of murdering his wife and getting away with it. The episode was featured by the organization StopBaptistPredators. The moving force behind the website and organization is attorney Christa Brown, who advocates for victims of sexual abuse by Baptist ministers and ministry staff. Christa also maintains a blog addressing such issues.

The problem of ministers and affairs is widespread. The issue is one often dealt with behind closed doors which makes the secret saturated scenarios involving affairs even more dysfunctional. It is bad enough that affairs are often surrounded by secrecy, but when the investigation and follow through on such matters are also shrouded in secrecy, the problems increase rather than decrease. Much like oxygen keeps fires burning, handling matters with secrecy keeps the dynamics that set up the situation and feeds the unhealthy relationships that surround affairs.

Best Regards,

Jeffrey D. Murrah

Affairs in the News, Christa Brown, Kari Baker, Matt Baker, pastors and affairs, stopbaptistpredators, Waco