One question that often surprises couples is “do you want marriage counseling or divorce counseling?” Some couples show up at the counselor after an affair and have never considered the reason they were there. The question startles them, it wakes them up to the reality of what they are facing. It also serves to make it clear what the agenda each of them has. Some spouses only attend counseling to appease their guilt and get their partner off their case. When spouses are honest with each other about what they are “meeting with the counselor” for, the work can be more effective. Repairing a relationship, especially after an affair requires commitment. This commitment consists of whether or not they are wanting to do what it takes to make it work or whether there is a point where they give up. When the issues addressed take people outside of their comfort zones, many spouses jump ship and leave the counseling either physically or mentally.
“Do you want marriage counseling or divorce counseling?”
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
